Although 100, my husband seems to be without dementia. But his sensory and mobility problems really interfere with his doing the things he used to like --reading, watching TV, socializing, creating mosaic paintings. Mainly he sleeps a lot of the day. I've talked to him about a senior day care program. He's not very interested, but has said he will give it a try after the holidays. He has never been a card player, can no longer play Scrabble. I dont think his eyesight would allow him to do jigsaw puzzles. Any suggestions would be appreciated. It is sad to see a very intelligent and well-educated man just sleep and vegetate all day.
There is nothing terrible about slowly winding down, content to have lived a full life.
Babies need a great deal of sleep. Very, very old people do, as well. Let him be.
Living to a 100 is a miracle into itself! Let him be, you can enjoy your life while he sleeps.
Your mom sounds like my 100 year old cousin. She talks about what she’s doing next year! LOL 😆 Plus, she still drives. She gets speeding tickets. Her kids have begged her to stop driving.
She cooks and cleans and helps the ‘old’ people in her senior apartment complex. Oh, she even wears heels and still dresses up with hair done and makeup on!
We call her the energizer bunny!
No matter how intelligent and educated, we need more sleep as we grow old. Leave him alone and live your own life. If I were a hundred years old, I’d be annoyed if my spouse wanted me to go to day care and bat balloons around a table or something equally stupid. I’m sure that what’s going on inside his head is way more interesting than that.
He's lived his life the way he wanted I'm sure, so let him now leave this life for the next in whatever way he sees fit. And if that's sleeping the better part of the day, so be it. You can turn on his favorite music(up loud if necessary)for him to listen to while he sleeps if you feel you must do something.
But please don't put your unrealistic expectations on him. Just let him be.
They liked a gap after each one to think, and perhaps a little discussion about it, or a few comments from me. I read the whole of the Sermon on the Mount and what we thought about it now. I brought up the comments on divorce, with which I disagreed, but said that in those days for people who weren’t wealthy, divorcing a woman usually condemned her to destitution or prostitution. I remember well a couple of the group reacting that it was really good to be treated for once as experienced adults! However including bits of old children's books as part of the mix, is NOT treating them as children!
Perhaps it would work if you (or someone else) could read a little, then leave a gap to let DH think and reminisce, then let him drop off to sleep for a while. If he has a good idea about the story and the words (especially with poetry), he could fill in the blanks if his hearing skips a bit. It could keep the past fresh for him, and keep his mind working at a pace he would enjoy. Worth a try?
Lots of love, Margaret
My spirits have been lifted by so many ideas and possibilities.
Happy holiday and the best for the New Year to all of you and your families, and especially to the ones who drive us crazy ......
He is likely to need to sleep a lot at his age .
Write his name on each of them if he’s in a nursing home. I have three different sets of EarPods that I keep charged and rotate easily. I keep them in a little mesh type zipper bag where everything stays together. The charge lasts about four hours, or so, but having more than one set will be very convenient.
I agree with you that your husband is far too intelligent to be left to sleep all day. Are there any senior activities available to him? It sounds like he may live at home, but how about doing some physical therapy with him while sitting in a chair? Chair yoga, perhaps? Something that you can easily do together, to bond, but that is very gentle on his body and yours too.
Bless you for taking such care for his mind. He needs mental stimulation which is so very helpful for an intelligent man. I would suggest gardening but I’m not sure that would be attainable. Can you move him outdoors to enjoy the breeze, or the cooler weather? Depending on your geographic location, of course.
I suggest chair yoga one last time. You can find videos on YouTube or buy a couple of dvds to have on hand, switching them out every now and again.
Good luck to you! Please let us know how your proposed activities work for both of you. 😉
Nix to outdoor things, as we live in the northeast, and he is ALWAYS cold. We keep the thermostat at 75 in both the summer and winter. We do have a patio and he does sit out there sometimes in the summer. But except for going to doctor appointments and for the occasional lunch at the diner, he is not interested in being outdoors.
Thanks again for your input...
She too, slept all day, and I always suspected much of the reason was boredom. Sure enough, when she went to memory care, she stayed awake most of the day, because she was AROUND activities and other people even when she couldn't fully participate. She'd have rather stuck needles in her eyes than play bingo, but she did seem to enjoy being aroud others who were playing it.
For her, music therapy was where she really brightened up. They had endless sing-along sessions at her place, and she loved them. They cranked up the volume, and she could hear that well enough.
It's tough to find enough that's stimulating for a person who's home and not around others, but you might try playing music, books on tape with headphones, and just plain conversation.
The key is to mix things up each day, because I think a lot of what gets older people hung up is the incessant routine of their days.