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Has anyone on here had to deal with a stepchild of their parent who has dementia changing beneficiary to themself after making their self POA?
My mother’s stepson did this by force and took all his dad’s assets and changed beneficiaries to himself. Bought himself a 1.2 million dollar home 3 months later.

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I'm so sorry for what you are experiencing. I have not particularly seen this type of situation exactly but I have seen people getting their parents to sign over everything to them when they have dementia. I've seen it in my own family and others where I have worked. Many people are motivated by greed, so much so that it supersedes any feeling of family love or obligation. They just want the money. The only comfort I can offer you is that we will be accountable, each one of us, for our actions. Be proud of the fact that you have tried to do things the right way for your mom. Sending you hugs.
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The wife has dower rights in all these accounts. The account administrator could not just distribute the funds without regard to the surviving spouse.
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If the mom needs Medicaid, I wonder if, due to the 5 year look back period, her application would be denied because it appears their money was given to the stepson...
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Hopiegirl Dec 13, 2025
Yes…I had a heck of a time trying to get my mom some help because she was married and they go by both incomes and assets. I was furious with what I was put through because of that low life stepson. I am still angry after 5 long years of hell.
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Hopie,
I just want to repeat here what I said below.
You added, in your responses to our suggestions, that you have already given all your proof to ALL ENTITIES including seeing attorneys and putting in money to try to negotiate all of this. If I haven't become confused in all this you are trying mostly now to act on behalf of your mom, and the deceased person was a stepfather with his own child. And that there is dementia for the mother???

We are often given the question here on AC forum "Can I contest a will". You say your mom needs help now. And sadly the answer is always "Yes. ANYONE can contest a will. BUT the person contesting must be willing to spend 10s of 1,000s of dollars to do so, AND must know it is VERY unlikely that they will ever win a contest on a decently written will of any kind".

I am afraid that you have already done everything you could. You have presented reams of proof and have seen every legal entity including paying attorneys and ALL have told you there is not any hope. I really don't think we strangers, not experts in anything, can do a thing when the experts are all waving the white flag. I am afraid that this is over. I feel your frustration and anger, but there are times when there is nothing to do but back away and let it go. It is sad, but sometimes your own mental health demands it.
I am so sorry. A worthless thing for you, I know. But there's just not a lot of hope here, and pounding your head on a brick wall is hopeless and self-harming.
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Hopiegirl Dec 11, 2025
Thanks for replies. I just seen it today. Yes, I am totally overwhelmed and I was acting on behalf of my mother who now has dementia herself. The biological son of her husband just took everything and the worst of it was that he locked his own father up and isolated him from everyone. Found out not long ago that he had this all planned before his dad even married my mom. I think he was looking for a caretaker for his dad. I feel awful because I did not see all of his evil plan before. My daughter had been murdered and I was fighting for years trying to find out who killed her. I had no idea how horrible her husband’s son was. This monster needs to be in prison.

I was hoping someone on here might have had some knowledge of something I had not already tried.

My mom just snapped when she lost her husband. She was a hard person to deal with even before, but no one deserves what happened to her. I think her bitterness over everything caused her to lash out even more. I cannot blame her. She is dying a slow death. She weighs about 80lbs now. I see often, but I wish I could take care of her. It is impossible. Tried many times. Maybe the best help I can get now from anyone is prayers that there is justice and the stepson is stopped before he does this again. Like I said, I found out later that he has done this before to other elderly people.

My next step is to see if a prosecutor will at least listen to what happened and maybe the stepson will be punished because I know what he did was illegal. Changing beneficiaries to yourself is illegal.

My health has suffered so much. I rarely sleep and will look forward to whatever is next because this life has been brutal.
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You need an elder attorney with experience in estate litigation. Whatever attorney your stepbrother took him to needs to be deposed under oath to see what happened in the attorney’s office & who’s direction was being followed to change documents.

I know it’s expensive but that is the only way
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Hopiegirl Dec 13, 2025
Yes, I agree. I just do not have the financial resources to spend thousands even if I could find an attorney. Most attorneys now do not want to even lift a finger unless they get millions of dollars. Our justice system is unreal. Only the rich can afford them. The stepson is now rich because he has stolen so much money from the sick and elderly people that he has attorneys in his pocket. The guy even sued his own daughter!

Watch a movie called “I Care a Lot” That movie boiled my brain and there is a lot of that stuff that really happens in real life. So many crooks out there in the “legal” system. I wish I could be like that crazy movie “Peppermint”. Lol.
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"I called APS, Pro Seniors, state ombudsmen, countless attorneys, police, attorney general. etc. Had over 100 pages of proof that I sent to police and all the above. "

A lawyer is who you need and they've already reviewed your proofs and case and have decided it is not strong enough, or that you won't be able to pay the retainer for their services.

It is apparently a labor-intensive case that is not slam-dunk regardless of 100 pages of evidence. I'm so sorry for this distressing situation.
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Hopiegirl Dec 13, 2025
Yes. That is why I cannot get help because no attorney wants to actually work for it. I just do not understand why a person has to pay when there has been a crime committed. What is the point of having laws if no one is punished.
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You are here, of course, speaking of elder abuse and elder fraud. You will need clear substantiated proof.

Call APS about elder fraud.
This should have been reported at once.
That it was not, this fraudulent getting of a POA, and these changes, will not bode well.
I imagine that the APS will guide you in your options at this late date. If this has not happened VERY RECENTLY I suspect that none of this matters and that not a lot can be done, especially if the elder is now deceased.

You really haven't given us enough information, so when you see APS or an attorney be certain that you have all the facts and proof you are able to collect.
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Hopiegirl Dec 3, 2025
I did contact every one I could right away. I have tried for years to get someone to help. I called APS, Pro Seniors, state ombudsmen, countless attorneys, police, attorney general. etc. Had over 100 pages of proof that I sent to police and all the above. They all said POA had the power and nothing could be done. Attorneys did nothing except take hundreds of dollars to tell me it was too complex since mom had dementia and her hubby had alzheimers. Now her hubby passed away and everything that was suppose to be left to my nom her stepson cashed out. My mom could really use the financial help now that she is getting worse. We all know how much getting help costs.

The stepson would not even let my mom see her husband and that made my mom even more upset. There is no legal help for elders. The ones I did talk to said what he did was wrong, but no lawyer would rake the case unless I paid them thousands and thousand's of dollars. One lawyer wanted 40k just to try. If I had money to burn that would be great, but then no money left after attorneys take it all IF you win. The stepson has so much money now from stealing from his dad and from other elderly people that he can pay his way out. He has done this before to other elderly people and gotten away with it.
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That would be illegal. Talk to an attorney to see if the stepchild acquired the POA legally and is using the money from his parent for the best interest of the parent.
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Hopiegirl Dec 3, 2025
Already tried.
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The stepson could not give himself POA. His father would have needed to, and could only if competent. However it's possible that the son/stepson coerced his father who wasn't competent, or misrepresented himself as having POA when he didn't.

In either case, whether he was validly POA or not, he would not be allowed to use it to enrich himself, against his father's interests. So if your father intended accounts and assets to stay as his own, or go to your mother, but the stepson transferred them to himself, that would be illegal.

Is your stepfather still alive, or deceasesd?

I suggest you start by contacting Adult Protective Services and ask them to investigate whether the son committed any financial crimes, abuse, theft, etc. against your stepfather and your mother.
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Hopiegirl Dec 3, 2025
Already contacted all those places. The stepson did force his dad. I was there when he forced him up out of chair by the arm and took him to an attorney. My stepdad cried for 2 weeks. I told all this to every agency and no one cared.

My stepdad just passed away 2 weeks ago.
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No one can change POA to himself. POA must be granted by the person.
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Hopiegirl Dec 3, 2025
Stepson forced his dad to sign POA to him. Then he commenced to changing all his dad’s annuity and IRA’s beneficiaries from my mom to himself. He cashed most of them out by signing his dad’s name since he was POA. Then he bought that million dollar home in Florida.
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If you have the written proof you should consult a lawyer and press charges if support documentation does indeed prove elder financial abuse.

If a dementia diagnosis is documented and any changes to POA or financial beneficiaries happen after the written diagnosis it can be consider Elder financial abuse.
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Hopiegirl Dec 3, 2025
Did all that.
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He cannot do this. He cannot personally profit as a POA. He can only get paid if written in POA.
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Hopiegirl Dec 3, 2025
He did it and not one lawyer will help me. This is why elderly are targeted. These low lifes know they can get away with it.
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