Are there any counselors to help me talk to my sister about the care our aging parents need?

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I would like to know if there are counselors out there available to help me talk to my sister about the care that my aging parents need???…she has been taking care of them and refuses to listen to me that there are people and things my parents could qualify for help,,I was hoping if a counselor were available so that the subject can be addressed with a third party present and she would refrain from being uncivil about the subject. I cannot call someone and have them just show up or call them without going through this with my sister first…They are completely dependent upon her and she has severe control issues that I cannot deal with on my own. My sister's own home is unlivable because she spends every second taking care of my family….If I dare say anything to my parents first,,she will alienate me and I will be the bad guy. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place I really need to know if there are counselors or some persons that can help me talk to my sister, Please !

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If the house is unsafe you should call aps. I'd have to see where someone on this site said your disability is in your head:that doesn't sound like one of us. Do you have a caseworker? Most of the folks I know who are on disability have, that person might be a source of hooking up with a counselor for your family. If we're not being helpful, tell us so politely and provide more, and more consistent facts about your situation. We understand that you're frustrated, but we are trying to help, really.
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Ipiphany, concentrate on getting yourself well first. Let your sister carry the load, maybe even call Social Services and let them carry the ball for a while.
You have to be strong yourself before you can carry anyone else's burden.
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IP,
It is frustrating for people when they try to help but you already have answers as to why something will not work. If you have tried everything, then you are simply going to have to wait for an emergency to get third parties involved. You could start by calling Adult Protective Services. Maybe they can help. You have got my GOAT!
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Your point would be correct if my family was normal and I wasn't disabled myself unable to take care of anyone especially my mother's needs..My sister is not there 24-7 she goes there after work
I guess this forum isn't helping me,, I thought sharing my entire situation would give the right perspective but that just gave people ammunition to fire back at me insults..
I need a counselor to deal with my controlling sister because my parents don't think they need any other help than my sister can provide…Their house is falling apart, its not handicap safe,,,etc etc,,,No one can do what my sister does in their eyes and hers. Since my sister controls everything if I couldn't get her to agree to get outside help I could never have an outsider come in their home to evaluate their needs….my sister nor I can provide for my parents what they need,,,cleaning their house is a bandaid effect….The bottom is getting ready to fall out and I was trying to be proactive,,, trying to find out if they have long term care insurance all the conversations NORMAL families have before a crisis happens….NO ONE seems to know they are already in crisis mode…..even if I could PHYSICALLY HANDLE going over there and clean their home it would help and would not be enough,,, my sister wouldn't be happy unless myself and my other sister gave up our entire lives to take care of our mother…Seems the only point that this forum has gotten across to people is that my parents need help cleaning,,,I am unfortunately sorry I signed up for this.
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Looking at it from her perspective, she may feel that being there 24/7 puts her in a position to be more informed on your mother's needs than you could be.

I think Pam's point is well taken; start helping her to even out the balance of responsibility so that she can see you're willing to pitch in with the physical work rather than try to get outside counseling for her.

Spend a few days taking full time care for your mother and give her some respite; she probably needs it desperately.
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Sorry is she refusing any help?
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You could start by cleaning her house for her. That would put you on her good side. :-) Or relieve her for a day or two so she can do it herself.
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