Are there any caregivers out there who sometimes don't feel as good as they used to?

I think after age 50 its a given that somethng in your body will hurt. If not you are a freak of nature.

Sendme - I vaguely remember one about 20 years ago.

Have never felt better than when, after having a full-body massage at a resort was completely without pain. Did not even know that was possible! But that was about twenty years ago.
Has anyone else experienced a pain-free day without pain meds?

Cwillie, it was my son who dropped some food on the kitchen floor and ate it. He told me about the 5 second rule. He is still alive today!

Oh the 5 second rule... I'm not sure how that morphed into an actual "rule", the basic premise is that if you see it fall you can pick it up, if you didn't then who knows how long it has been lying there? As for whether you want to still eat it or not, well you know how clean (or not) your own floor is.

As for pillows, I think the fowl in my favorite pillow died before I was born. I have washed it though and have given it new ticking :)

Fomites!

Microbiology classes were a blast, some very good information there, has served me well except there are so many on the side of: 'germs are good for you, they help build your immunity'. I am not in favor of 'the five-second rule', when if you drop food on the floor one can pick it up and eat it safely, but if that makes everything cool for you, go ahead, eat it and make fun of others who are 'anal retentive'. I explained to my sis, at least if one is anal retentive, the s8!t is not flying everywhere and no one is stepping in it! So spread those e-coli and see what you get.
What was the question again? What thread is this? Where am I?
Maybe my thinking is clouded by anger today. Sorry.

Mum was a dishcloth user until I showed her a programme that proved that a surface wiped with a dishcloth had more germs than a toilet seat - we don't use dishcloths any more!!!!

I've got one - has anyone else, besides me - thought thru the whole candle blowing out thing on birthday cakes. They you get a nice big slice...umm, yummy!

I knew about the toothbrush thing. Also the pillow thing. Have you all heard about the dust mites that burrow into your mattress? They are tiny. We can't see them but they are there. Another thing I hate is when Mothers change their kids diapers right in the mall and leave the dirty diaper sitting there or toss it in the garbage but miss and don't bother to pick it up. Ugh!! Speaking of new mothers I hate it when they think cause they have a stroller that everyone should get out of their way.

Wait..........this isn't the pet peeve thread........Sorry, my bad. :)

Don't forget to buy new pillows every year. I think it was on an Oprah show about how gross a pillow gets after one year. So I do run out and buy new ones.

But trying to get my parents to do that same was a different matter... they rather had slept on those pancake thin pillows they had been using for the past 20 years.

When Dad moved to his new independent living digs, I bought him one new pillow to see if he liked it... so far he is using it without any complaints. Thus, it must had been my Mom [since passed] who wouldn't throw anything out and replace with new until it had turned into dust or dirt.

Just do the old Alfred E. Newman thing, What Me Worry? Toothpaste kills germs, so no worries.

The pestilence that bothers me is hacky coughing kids in public places. We had a kid behind in church this morning that was hacking like he had TB or something. All around me sat people in their 80s and 90s. I wondered if this boy's father hated old people, so brought his germ bag son in there to kill them off.

Oh Jude, how did you ever miss that one, it has been years since that made the headlines here! Mom used to say we should have all been dead long ago if all those stories had any merit, there is definitely an ick factor though :)

Everybody else but you, Jude! I knew that, now thanks to you, everybody who might not have known, now knows.
Does anyone have practical suggestions on where to actually store that wet toothbrush, safely? (Within the parameters of home health safety?)

Oh Jessie I just think someone needs to poop on your parade. Nah not really I am delighted for you BUT I have found something out today which grossed me out. Did you know that if you don't put the toilet lid down before flushing the bacteria from anything that is in the toilet can disperse over 6 feet which means that if your toothbrush ......well I don't need to say more do I?

I feel so full of energy the last few days. Don't look as good as I once did, but I feel just as good. Getting lots of exercise. Bad thing is that I'm hungry a lot. Don't know what's going on with that.

Now that I made everyone want to throw rocks at me I think I'll go bother the rabbit.

My oldest sibling59 never comes to see our mother. He lives 10 minutes away. I just dont even bother with him right now. I just waste my breath and get even more stressed out.

Many days I feel extremely tired, almost to the point of exhaustion. In addition, my siblings refuse to help me, and that adds greatly to my fatigue and stress. Ironically, they have very strong feelings about not helping me, yet paradoxically, they are very interested in the bank accounts (what they will inherit).

I'm going on year 2 of taking care of my mother. I am so happy my mother is still with me. We thought she was going to die this December and she rallied. She is weaker, but also much more peaceful and very sweet to me and husband. I thought I would be going into the new year without Mom and back into my life, but now I'm still home. I lost weight (too much) and lost muscle tone and having some joint problems since I gave up stretching and exercise. I just can't seem to exercise with the cooking and shopping and cleaning. Also, once you are not so fit, a 20 minute walk here and there does not do it; one needs a real program with stretching, aerobic exercise and weights. Sheesh, when would I do that? I am lucky in that I have a great and supportive husband but he was out of work all of last year and there is pressure for me to go out and work. However, I lost my footing in the work world and I still need to be around for Mom. I go out now and then, and talk to friends on the phone, but its so weird, its hard to be present with people because I do feel in that twilight zone between life and death. I also don't like to be super enthusiastic and dynamic around Mom, because I feel like she can only look on and not join in, so I am cheerful, but hold back my expression and enthusiasm. I believe that the isolation makes us caregivers think and do some strange things. I 'm happy to have Mom here, I really love her, but I can see her quality of life is low. I also have a lot of low level anxiety about seeing her diminish more and more.

We may need to practice the life we wish we had, or had before all-consuming caregiving took away more and more choices. If we don't 'practice', then it is not likely that once caregiving stops we can just go out and have that life, picking up where we left off, or starting over at a different age. Be creative!

Tomorrow I have two phone calls to make to doctors. One to have my mother evaluated for hospice - the other to my obgyn surgeon to cancel an upcoming test in prep for the hysterectomy I've been postponing for the past two years - nothing overly serious but it does need to be done sooner than later - but what's another year? Seems my ability to handle stress has diminished to the point I can't deal with my moms dying and the removal of my internal organs at the same time!

cwillie, don't you hate it whenever someone ask what fun thing did you do this weekend.... and that person knows you are dealing with an elder. Are they that clueless?

I know I have almost zero energy, just walking up a flight of stairs takes my breathe away.... I am just worn out at my age. And emotionally, I use to hate shopping, recently I find I actually enjoy going into a grocery store to get things, it's like a mini-vacation for me :P

I am about 2 years behind going to my own list of doctors.... last time I saw a doctor was when I had a kidney stone and prior to that when I broke my shoulder. But none of the regular ones I need to see like the dentist, oncologist, cardiologist, etc. I just can't face another waiting room.

I've been thinking today that caregiving is a lot like any other job, there are days when you just don't want to get out of bed, there are days that pass by in boring routine, and there are days that you seriously want to go postal. Hm, I guess that doesn't say too much for the jobs I've had in the past, does it?

Jessie, I don't know if I am in the twilight zone, but I definitely cringe when someone asks what I'm doing now. I don't quite know how to explain my life to "outsiders".

Caregiving is mentally and physically killing me. I am officially scared that my mother is going to run me into the ground long before she goes. Most selfish self centered woman in the world. She only cares for herself . She has ruined mine and my husbands life and now she is OFFICALLY ruining my health.

Something I wondered is if other people feel they are going crazy, like living in the twilight zone? When I go out now I feel calm, but feel I don't have as good of a grasp on reality anymore. It is like crossing from one world to another and not fitting well into either.

Yes, Rainmom, this can and does happen. You absolutely need to attend to your own health care needs. Equally important, you need to set limits on what you can and will do to help your elder. Over a seven-year period, I thought I was doing this and yet still developed two serious (new) medical conditions. Caregiving can be exceedingly stressful and taxing. Please keep your own emotional and physical health in the forefront of your mind.

I'm a different person than I was five years ago when I began looking after my parents. Thankfully my parents have been able to afford in home care provided by an agency so compared to the angels that do the hand on care I've had it somewhat easier. Still my fathers passing took a toll - I adored him and seeing him suffer broke my heart. My mother is an extreamly difficult woman and we share a complicated relationship - looking after her, with her fighting me every step of the way has been miserable. For five years I have taken care of every aspect of my moms - and for the first 1 1/2 years - dads life. From buying the Depends to being executor of my fathers estate and everything in between. I moved my parents first from their home of over 50 years - daddy to his ash scattering and mom to the NH where she is now, stopping off at AL in between. I have a 22 yr old son with sever autism living at home - I love him with all my heart and he is an easy going giant two year old at heart - but it has always meant limited time for my husband and for me. Looking after my parents took every minute I might have had to myself. I am angry, sad, bitter and hopeful. I don't think my mom has much time left - my hope isn't for that - but is for looking to get my life back once again. So no, I don't feel as good as I use to - but I'm hoping to.

My mother is also very self centered. So that makes it even more difficult. Sometimes I think she expects me to jump when she says jump. This week I am going to my dr ro have a check up. And ask for something light to help me fall asleep easier.

I identify so much with careisgiving. I am mentally exhausted and angry often. I also do my caregiving after all day at a stressful job. I am packing on the pounds , though I used to be slender. There is no time that I can even go for a walk! I can't sleep well, and not at all on nights Mom is "roaming" and there is no care giver 3 to 4 nights a week. My tummy is often in an uproar, and my head often aches. We have to find a way to make some time for ourselves and to renew ourselves. That is v ery difficult in some of our situations. I have been meditating and stretching; that helps. Reading, listening to music, talking to friends on the phone, and trying to eat right all are helpful.