Any assisted living transition suggestions?

One of the best things we did was get my Dad a few small household items — a dishcloth, some simple plates and glasses (all plastic), and some silverware. Once he started making friends he would ask me to buy him some cheese and crackers and he would host little gatherings. Even though his meals are in the dining room, he's enjoyed being able to entertain a bit — now he has friends he plays cards with, and they all bring little snacks.

I took the diagram from the facility's website and maneuvered little paper cut-outs of furniture around in it to visualize how things would fit. Nerdy, but it worked for me.
Even if your dad is sharp as a tack this will be a big move, so bring familiar things and set them up where he would intuitively look for them.
Quite honestly, I don't think my mom really uses the kitchenette. Maybe she occasionally uses a water glass or eats in her room, but she doesn't prepare anything. I wouldn't add an extra piece of furniture, like a microwave stand, until you can see if he needs the counter space. My mom has a loveseat, a rocker, a lamp table, a small square writing table, and a TV cabinet in her little living room-she made me bring an ottoman too, and that's stayed pushed against the wall for forever, just taking up room. That's enough seating for 3-4. People don't really visit like they do in IL-it's all out in the shared areas. She has a bed, lampstand, and small dresser in the bedroom, and (joy!) a walk-in closet. They have a little built in shelf for mementos. Unless your dad really needs a desk perhaps you might hold off until you get the essentials in? Even basic things really eat up the space when you're in the 500 ft range. My mom switched over to using her Ipad all the time, so we didn't need space for her computer. I agree that the big digital clock is very handy-you can get them on Amazon.
Clothing--Less really is better, so don't take everything. The laundry soap they use is pretty strong, and things will fade over time. You can use some of the clothes you keep back as replacements when things start to look dingy. I switch out my mom's summer & winter things each year too-she has Alzheimer's, so limiting choices works better for her.
I did make up a tupperware box of extras of deodorant, toothpaste, toothbrushes, etc that I stored in the bathroom just in case things ran low, and a few cleaning things and extra garbage bags for room touch ups.
Good luck!

This will make things much better for both of you, and he is doing you a favor. Downsize, downsize, downsize! Don't take anything to the new apartment that he doesn't use on a regular basis. Take minimal kitchen things. A couple of sets of eating utensils or he can use disposable items. Only things that are safe in a microwave. Most likely he will not use the microwave or kitchen much - all his meals are in the dining room. They will probably also give him snacks. Get rid of all clothes that don't fit or are difficult to put on. They will be rough on his laundry at the facility- take things that can go through a hot wash and hot dry. Things that are easy to put on are stretchy t-shirts, and sweat shirts, pants with elastic waist, shoes he can slip into, etc. If he wants to keep some more formal wear, keep it to a minimum. Only one coat, jacket, etc. Maybe a couple of pairs of gloves and hats (depending on your climate) because they get lost. When my mother moved to AL, I found that she never looked at any of the books she took. We would have been better off taking only a very few books. Ask the facility if they will put name labels on his clothes, or you can do that. They had a library in the facility. She also didn't use any of the craft supplies she brought with her. Make sure you only bring hobby items that your father is currently using. Also don't bring personal papers. He should have no valuables or personal papers with financial information in his room, he'll only need a small amount of cash. If he will have credit cards and some cash in his room, get a lock box, or a desk with a locked drawer. Set up all of his accounts online and paperless so that you can handle them easily. Have all his bills and medical information sent to your house (or paperless). Another thing we did wrong with my mother was taking boxes of family photos and letters. Just a few of photos and letters, if there are some that are important. If he has pictures on the walls in his home, take a couple or a few pictures to hang in his new apartment. Only bring his medications and the grooming supplies and toiletries that he actually uses. If he still uses a computer, bring that. A dresser, a night table for the bed (a small bed is better, for example twin size), a small table that can be used for eating, writing, computer, etc. and a couple of chairs for guests that don't take up a lot of space. The furniture should be sturdy but light weight, and chairs with arms are easier and safer for older people. I found that it's best not to have chairs with wheels, they can be dangerous for older people. If there is room, a reclining chair for watching TV (and napping) is also useful, if he can handle the controls. Also lamps, if the lighting needs to be supplemented. Maybe a lamp on his night table. Night lights in the bathroom and in his room are also good. Allthe best with the move!

LMRLMR: Since your father has opted for this assisted living facility on his own, it makes it all the much easier on you as the majority of parents are resistant to managed care living. You should make his apartment as comfortable as is possible.

You have already reached the biggest hurdle...HE has agreed/ wants to move ! Involve him in the conversation about what is to be set up in the apt. Letting him take some ownership of the specifics not only maintains his self respect and dignity but it also continues to build a great trusting relationship between you. I also suggest speaking with the facility AL staff about safety issues, suggestions for setting up the apt. ... They probably have some impt guidelines / requirements etc to be aware of before jumping in. Take it slow....involve your Dad and the AL staff and, go from there.
Most AL facilities already have things set up in the bathroom such as support bars etc for pt safety...and the facility will be particular about what is put up and how for safety and liability reasons...so again , strongly suggest speaking with AL staff first....
You can add all the little special touches after he is moved in .....so start with basics....

(copy and paste): https://www.pinterest.com/joditish/dorm-room-setup/

An alarm clock with the largest size numbers you can find along with the day of the week shown. My dad would forget what day of the week it was just being in a new setting can alter their memory.

The number one bit of advice is to have a very strong bed rail on each side of his bed.
My dad started falling out of the bed, and
this is how he injured himself. Being in an Assisted Living requires if the patient falls three times, the third time they go get checked out at the hospital.

Have his name sewn in the back of each piece of clothing. My dad constantly was missing clothes that they washed of his. If you have his name on all of his clothes, socks, and linens this helps prevent loss.

Lastly, if your dad has a walker, put his name on it in big letters across the front with a large basket for carrying things.
So many walkers look the same. Plus, if your dad was in the military, have something that says “ served in the military “ on front of his walker, this will get attention from people and get him to know more people over time. Huge benefit.

www.dignityallday.com offers a wheelchair that safely allows a person to use the toilet without being transferred.

I would suggest take as much of his things as you can. His favorite chair, his calendars-pictures, his dresser, anything that would make it his home. If you can hire a group (from your church or community center) to move the furniture and set it up, before you get there, as close to his home as possible.

Have you had the chance to visit a room there? Often times, the place itself will make suggestions or if you can see the model room, you will get some ideas.

For my momma’s room, we found bathroom storage to be lacking. So we got a cute wall cabinet at Target to put over her toilet. The maintenance man installed it for us. It was perfect, and held all the odds and ends that couldn’t fit in her “above the sink” cabinet. She also brought along her Keurig coffee maker, because she loved to serve us coffee. We had pretty wall coat hooks placed near her door, so that we had a place to hang our jackets when visiting and she had somewhere to keep her favorite sweater or coat handy. Oh yes, we brought along her bathroom scale. The place had one, but it was quite a distance from her room. It is pretty important to have, especially if your dad has heart issues. We also kept a little note pad in the bathroom for her to keep track of her weights. One other post mentioned a dementia clock. I concur! They are absolutely the best; my son got Granny one from Amazon, and it was very helpful.

Of course the holidays are coming! Once your dad settles in, you’ll see what he needs, and that will give you and your family lots of ideas for gifts!

Best wishes; I trust that you all make lots of happy memories as your dad moves close by!!

The only thing I would add to your list is single bed hide a bed that would look like a nice loveseat in his room. In that way you could stay overnight with him if necessary and allowed. I'm at the same place with my husband. I have a lazy boy Single bed hide a bed. It really is a nice piece of furniture so does not look out of place in his room.

Chances are that he will spend only a little time in his room if you chose a place that have a lot of engaging activities. My mom was transfered 3 times in her 98 year old life. The first place, she had friends from town, but they passed away. The 2nd and 3rd she made her own friends. Every time I visited, I had to go find her on the floor. Her last place was multi level but she only got to MC.
Give dad a few days to explore and adjust on his own. Let him know your plan here. Keep in mind that the transition adjustment could include a couple of falls within that period.

Before you get the microwave, try just keeping a few snacks. He may find that the AL has snacks in a location plus he gets some exercise by going to it. Chances are, there will be other residents there. Also it is sometimes typical that residents will take extra snacks to their rooms.

My mom used to like me to attend if there was a special entertainer musical guest. She always enjoyed my presence to sing the songs with the group. These experiences lasted longer through her short term memories.

My condolences to his late wife. What about his electronic equipment, such as his TV and laptop or similar devices? It's better to have a subscribed privste Wi-Fi service available in his area instead of the AL facility's service for your Dad privacy concerns.

The fact that he is willing to move into AL is the biggest part of transition that most have to worry about.
Ask him what he wants in the apartment.
Does he have a favorite chair now? Move that in with him. (It might be old and not "look nice" but it is comforting. You can talk about replacing it later if needed.) Seating for guests, maybe one of the over size chairs. that way if you ever have to spend the night it could double as a twin bed. Since most have an ottoman that 1 chair could provide seating for 2 people.
Does he use a whiteboard?
Maybe a large calendar that is erasable so the activities can be written down each month. Many have a "note" section on the side so he can write a list of things he needs.
How much counter space does he really need? A microwave cart will take up floor space. Think floor space is more valuable than counter space. (the microwave could be placed on top of the mini fridge that would free up counter space and not take up extra floor space)
I would say let him adjust and get things as he mentions them. Sometimes you don't know what you want until you want it.

First off, my condolences on the loss of your mother. I know how tough it can be; I lost mine on February 22 of this year.

Isn't dad bringing some furniture with him to the new AL? When my dad was in rehab, he couldn't go back to Independent Living with mom, so I had to hurry up and find him an AL that would take him, then set up the room for him (and buy a new bed/mattress too!) so here's what I did: I went to a medical supply type of store and looked around. There I found a zero-gravity electric recliner that would lift him up and OUT of it, plus it would bend back to the point where he could sleep in it and/or go to a zero gravity setting where it would take ALL the pressure off of his back which was constantly killing him. Score. Then I found a Stander Tray Table that swivels & also has a handle to help him stand up from the recliner. The feet of the table sit under the recliner, so it's very sturdy & wonderful. Here's a link to show you what it's all about:

https://stander.com/product/2600-omni-tray/

If you're going to buy one, however, don't get it on this link site; it's $165 on Amazon!!!! Just a head's up. BEST $$$$ I ever spent on my parent's behalf; I bought one for him & one for mom. When mom broke the table top years later from lifting up the recliner and not realizing it was breaking the table in the process, the Stander company replaced it free of charge. Score.

Then I bought end tables, an Alzheimer's clock which shows the day, date, year and time of day *and AM or PM* in large neon numbers, and a few bookcases to house their books & photo albums. A toaster, a coffeemaker, towels, wash cloths, sheets/pillows/linens. The art for the walls would come over with mom from the IL when she moved, otherwise I would've bought art for the walls, too. Their AL room was small, so the 2 recliners and the swivel tables took up most of the living room area, but if you have 500 sf to fill up, then by all means I'd get some small comfy club chairs or similar for guests to sit on. A dry erase board is excellent to put up on the wall *I bought mom one for her suite in Memory Care*. Also toiletries, bath rugs (talk to the Exec Director or nurse at the ALF about what they prefer you use), a TV set, radio, movies, a DVR player, things like that he's going to need. But once dad moves to the AL, then HE will tell YOU what he needs and wants, so all you have to do is set him up with the bare necessities, you know?

I disagree about waiting 2 weeks to visit him; this is advice more appropriate for elders who are against the move in general and fighting you. Your dad (thank God) is all for this move, and will need your help and support moving in. I would stay and have dinner with my folks once I got them both moved in (and mom moved OUT of their IL apartment), but I was 5 minutes away so it was easy for me to do so.

Wishing you and your dad the best of luck in what sounds like the best continuum of care facility around!!

LMRLMR, one good idea is to try to set up your Dad's bedroom furniture similar to what he currently has. That way when he wakes up in the middle of the night, it won't feel like a strange room. Bring along his current bedspread. Pictures on the wall in same location. If the facility allows this, put a wreath or something on his apartment door, which he can relate too, which will make it easier for him to find his front door. That's something he can pick out on his own be it sport item, fishing, hobby, etc.

The facility sounds great being he can transfer from one area to another if need be. I remember when my Dad went from one section over to Memory Care, his only concern was if the chef would be the same person. He was so happy when I said yes as he enjoyed the food.

So glad that your Dad is happy to move to senior living. That is a huge plus. I know my Dad was happy to be around people from his own generation, plus have all these "new ears" to listen to his stories :)

Once your Dad moves in, best not to have family visit until after two weeks. That will give Dad time to learn his way around, learn the Staff and to meet his neighbors. Ok to telephone during that time.

If your Dad likes getting the daily newspaper, get a subscription started. I also got Dad a clock that showed what day it was, Dad found that handy. Dad had a landline telephone at the facility, so I type out in large print his new telephone number and his new address and taped it to the bottom front of the phone.

Sounds like a win-win !!