Any advice when financial and medical POA are not the same person?

If you and your cousin have a good relationship I don't see why this can't work. However, while you may have a good relationship now it would be prudent to work to maintain that relationship once the documents are signed and everything is in place. When there's an elderly family member at the center family relationships have been known to deteriorate. One person feels that they have more power than the other person or one person acts unilaterally without discussing decisions with other family members. A million things can do wrong. But if two mature, stable adults work together in the best interests of their elderly family member and keep the lines of communication open it can be a positive experience for all involved.

Many people opt to have different people serve as POA and MPOA. The MOST important aspect of this is that the two people have to be able to work together and make compromises when dissent occurs (and it will).

My two younger brothers hold POA and MPOA, but really? since mother is in sound enough mind, it doesn't even matter, she can do what she wants. POA ONLY kicks in after the person is declared incompetent to take care of themselves.

You won't "have control" over your uncle, this is good pre-planning, really. He is asking two people he trusts to look after him and finances when/if he becomes incapable of doing so. You don't need to move him nearer to you, unless you want to and he wants to. My brothers take no compensation for their work in mother's behalf--it has been limited to a once a year financial review.

HOWEVER, once she passes, one brother is the executor and he WILL be paid for the time he takes in working out the trust. When someone passes, POA's become null and void.

Thank you all - great advice. I am not sure at this point if I am even going to accept. A few months ago he asked me to be his sole POA, but has for some reason changed his mind. Things have been complicated and are getting mores so, and if we can't get a clear picture of what he expects of us now, it is only going to get worse. Stay tuned...

Be sure that the POAs are valid in the states you and cousin are in, in my state of AZ a Durable POA is what is needed. A general POA becomes invalid if he loses mental competence, ie has a stroke or brain bleed, just when you really need it you find out it is the wrong form. Just a heads up, have uncle ask the Atty to make sure that the forms would be valid for whatever state.

Have you and cousin talked about what it would mean to both of you and how you would want to deal with things, this could head off a lot of future strife having some upfront ideas of what to expect from one another.

If things are changing then I definitely agree to take a step back because it would only be the beginning of a very rocky and uncertain road ahead

If you really don't have to, don't.

I won't speak to my concerns about the split role but I will speak about the concern of being in a different sate, especially the medical POA. Would your cousin be able to go and stay if he were to become seriously ill? I can't imagine making life or death medical decisions without being able to talk directly with the medical team and the person, if possible. 

This is the preferred way, and adds a sort of "checks and balance" like government. It prevents one person from having all the power. It's a good idea. For guardianship and conservatorship the courts prefer this. It is not the most convienent and would be easier to have both positions. My brother and I have this set up though, and I think it's good and we make it work. It also prevents an emotional response, or foolish response from one to go unchecked by another. Be a team and do your reading on responsibilities.

Do not do it, I and my sister were our uncles POA and to date after he passed 16 months ago we have been taken to court by his sister as she is stating that we spent to much of his money. 

The mistake that my precious uncle made is that he made her sole executor of his will, he should have made myself and my sister the executors. So far it has cost myself and my sister over 10 k uk pounds in fighting her. Our lawyer told us that she only did this cause she has the money to do it, “ using our precious uncles money against the people who cared for him” we took expenses quite rightly so, our uncle clearly stated on his POA that we were to be paid a professional salary for being  his POA, he stated we could make gifts to his family, give loans etc with no restriction as to amounts etc. We could by sell his property we had full control of everything his care health and well-being and this is now what’s happening to us. 

I even have an email from my aunt in America who is the executor to say to me spend spend spend its my brother money and I want him to have the best”  Now look what greed has done to innocent people, we have handed over everything all receipts for ever purchase, but she is still not happy with how we spent his money. 

She inherited a house 300k painting and antiques £110 k and cash value 200k and that still wasn’t enough. Had we know what she was going to do to us we would have spent more, and probely sold our uncles house and placed him into a better house with a garden for him to go outside easier. We have no money we were not mentioned in his will, we knew we were getting nothing out of it when we took on the role of POA “ we did it beacause we loved and adored him, she has distroyed and still is destroying what little faith myself and my sister have in humanity, she is the most evil greedy person ever. May she burn in hell. 

My aunt is a 73 year old woman who is and was very wealth prior to my uncles death. I’ve already had to sell my home here in Scotland to pay my legal cost. Our mother our uncles other sister was also excluded from the will, which we all found very strange, Mum lived directly across the road from uncle peter. Our mother is appalled With her actions towards myself and my sister. Our aunt visited our uncle once in 21months she lives in America, she never see anything we did we visited our uncle every single day traveling 1:15 hours a day to take his shopping and give the live in carers ther 2 hours daily break 7 days a week 365 days a year for over 2 years. 
Do cleaning washing overseeing everything, cutting uncles finger and toe nails taking him out for the day, visits to the theater art gallery’s swimming, lunch coffee etc. 

So all I can say is do do not do it if you do not want your life distroyed.

Louisesteele, I hope where the lawsuit was filed allowed you to counter file against your aunt, winning against her charges will only cost you money, a counter suit will get you reimbursed for your expenses, if what you say is true you will win and she should be punished financially for what she is doing, it sets precedence and helps others in the future. If the greedy ones only get to cost others money and never have to pay for the trauma their actions cause, why not they have nothing to lose. Talk to your attorney if you have not counter sued and get that started so it can be addressed at the same time, it shows her that you did nothing wrong and are not going to be bullied and defamed by a cruel uncaring greedy relation.

Best of luck and let us know.

(Not trying to hijack this post, sorry)