**Long Essay Here**
I am a pre-med student caring for my disabled mother.
Back in 2015 I was accepted into a early college for my academics, I decided give that up and stay home to help take care of my ill mother. Instead of things changing, she got worse with the verbal abuse. My childhood wasn't that great. (Both parents were emotionally abusive, trauma--) I had been a part-time caregiver since age eleven. The real work didn't start till age 13.
I am 19 now and things are not so great. My mother recently went into the hospital and things went down hill. She's now in a rehabilitation home for occupational and physical therapy. My father and I couldn't really do anything. (I feel like sh*t. Even though she volunteered to go.) For the past 5 days, she's been at my throat non-stop. She even embarassed me in the hospital telling everyone how "dumb, ignorant, and useless" I was to her. She said I no longer loved her. And that I was going to let the nurse staff kill her. (She said I was trying to kill her back in 2015. I caught pure hell those 4 weeks.) This weekend, she called my uncles and aunts crying and saying "No one is trying to help her and she has to help her self." She proceeded to say that I threw her away. I didn't want to be around. I was adding onto her problems and that I need to exist anymore.
My father tried to calm me down by saying "You did nothing wrong. She's just sick right now."
What makes it worse is that her family members think that I'm not caring for her. And she goes and does this.
I think it's time that I let go. It's gotten to the point that I've been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. My doctor even told me that the emotional stress is causing my body to react physically (w.e that means.) *shrug*
Has anyone gone through this? If yes, how did you get through it?
I really want to live my life and not be afraid of losing everything for being selfish. I want my mother to stop treating me this way. I want my family to think better of me.
As for myself, I think loving and letting go is best. I may be wrong.