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Linda, good advice. One thing I will say is most of the things that Mom feels we have "taken away" from her are things she never liked much anyway. (like driving and cooking) I think maybe it is just that she is now more aware of things she really can't do anymore and is just now feeling the loss of that.
As far as the Mail goes...that is the highpoint of her day. She sits in the front room doing her crossword puzzles and watching tv, waiting for the mailman to come. At this point, there is no way we can intercept it.
Unfortunately, we also just found out that Moms heart valve replacement is now failing. She may need another replacement. If she does go in for surgery, I am not too sure that she will ever be able to come home again. I also think that maybe that is why we have not yet been given any medication for her for the Alzheimers yet. The Doc had been going to do that on out last visit...but then he got the echocardiogram results and I assume prioritized her heart over the alzheimers. I am not sure if the medication would be considered incompatable because of that. Either way, it means we are still dealing with her without any medication.
Thanks again for everyones support and advice!
Lori
Thank you all so much for the replies! Its good to hear from those in the trenches with me.
Hugs, Lori
How about the approach, "I know you don't need the help, Mom [or Dad], but I do, so please let me get the help I need to do things around here... In fact, could you please help me pick up this lint off the floor...?" (Or some suitable distraction...) We need to be as positive and upbeat as possible, which isn't always easy. (So here, I'm preaching to myself. LOL) Happy Caregiving, dear servant!