Any advice on helping mom with incontinence, how do we get her to go in the adult diaper?

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I’m not sure how to even present our situation so I’ll do my best. Our mom has dementia and up until about a month ago she started to have urine accidents. Sometimes we would fine her bed wet or her bed quilt wet and up until recently one of LVN’s at facility found a wet spots near her laundry basket. Mom is still able to walk with her walker and TRY’s to get to the bathroom on her own. But here recently it’s getting harder and harder for her. When she does make it to the restroom she has a very difficult time lifting her pamper and pants up and leaves them half way down her legs causing us to worry about a terrible fall to happen. We are trying to find a solution to try and get her to go on the pamper and a solution to keep her from leaving her pamper and pants half way down her legs. She’s become so weak physically but the dementia just won’t let her mind rest. We appreciate any advice or suggestions you can share. Looking to help

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My question is, why, if she is in a facility, are they not taking her every 2 hours? That is what I did with my mom when she was at that point. Then you are there to assist with anything she needs.
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Reply to Grammyteacher
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I wish I could present a better answer, but we have just resorted to keeping watch outside the door when my grandmother is in the bathroom and stepping in to help her get her pants pulled up when she has trouble doing that herself. My grandmother is the same way, weak but can walk with the walker and tries her best to get to the bathroom in time but she does not always make it. She will also try to walk with her pants halfway down her legs because shes in a hurry to be finished with the bathroom task and we are very worried about her falling because of that.

Best Ideas I have for getting her to wear incontinence products?
-Be positive and talk them up. Act like its a great invention that really helps and is discreet and comfortable. Avoid calling them diapers or pointing out her problem too much.
-Try the pad style that will stick right into her underwear. Perhaps prepare her underwear with one ahead of time. Then she still wears her own underwear but has protection.
-Try the underwear-looking pull-up style. Most of those are thin and comfortable and flexible and easily tear off at the seams. You can even place these inside regular underwear to make them seem more discreet and less "diaper-like."
-Suggest simply "trying them out" rather than making her feel she must commit to wearing a diaper for the rest of her life
-Place some in her drawers or bathroom so that she can see them and she may try them out on her own?
-Be on her team in joining in a solution to help her and avoid coming off as telling her what to do
My grandma is pretty good about this, but those are some of the things we've had to do occasionally. It's pretty rare that she doesn't wear anything as she was wearing incontinence underwear for a few years before dementia really set in. Occasionally she will believe shes in her 20s or 30s and go looking for regular underwear, but we make these incontinence underwear very visible and she will reach for them herself most of the time.
Another thing we had made sure that there is grab bars and supports to hold on to so that my grandma can use one hand to hold and the other to pull up one side and then switch until the pants are all the way up. Honestly, it still means being at least on standby assist to help out when necessary. She is in a facility, yes? Perhaps the staff there needs to be aware that she may need some assistance getting her pants up after using the restroom.
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Reply to Ema325
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Thank you all so much for your advice. She is in a facility and they try to do the best they can keeping an eye on her. We're always there with her in the afternoon (1-7) to help out as much we can. I'm sure it's one of the stages of this horrible disease. I'll keep everyone updated on this change. We have continue to help each other and support each other.
God bless.
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Reply to Gloriacoco
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I wonder if Mom might do better with a toilet chair close-by. That way she’d have more time to get everything situated. It doesn’t have to be right in front of the door, but in a secluded corner close to her chair or bed. 

Also, one thing the aides at rehab and the visiting nurse both told me was to NOT call them “diapers” or “Pampers”. I was told to call them that to the wearer’s face is insulting and demeaning. Even in the throes of Dementia, a person is able to associate “diapers” with “They’re treating me like a little baby!” I always say “underwear” to hubby even though he doesn’t have dementia.
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Reply to Ahmijoy
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To answer your original question - no one wants to go in their pants, it's a taboo that has been established in very early childhood, the incontinence products are there to catch the results of unexpected loss of control. If she is too weak to pull up her own pants then she needs to be supervised. If she can't remember to pull up her pants then she needs to be supervised. If her pants and/or pull up are wet or soiled and she can't figure out what to do about it then... she needs to be supervised.
If she is in a facility that only offers minimal help with bathing, meals and medication management it is probably time to seek out a place that offers closer supervision, if her current facility says they can still handle her needs then ask them how they plan to do that, for example toileting her on a schedule might help.
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Reply to cwillie
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Thank you for sharing your experience Grammyteacher. This is what I'm looking for responses like yours "why the facility should be checking her every two hours". I will be SURE to discuss this with the social worker and ADON.
Thank you again.
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Reply to Gloriacoco
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Thank you Ahmijoy. I will start using the word “underwear”, when discussing her pampers. The only concern the staff at the facility have is that she may try to walk with the toilet chair thinking that it’s her walker. Maybe I could try it while I’m there and see how she does with it.
Thank you again.
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Reply to Gloriacoco
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In the NH my wife is in they call diapers "briefs" and the pull up's are called "panties" The words pull ups, diapers, or pampers are not used at all. With our health care system, the CNAs in most facilities are overworked, underpaid, and looked down on by the nurses instead of being seen as an asset. The "bathroom program" looks good on paper but in reality does not work. With 75% of the staff pulled away during meals, that leaves little help on the units to deal with all the call buttons being used . They cannot mix passing out or picking up trays with bathroom duty. The system is broken.
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Reply to garylee
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Do you have a commode over the toilet yet? They are not too expensive. Plus you can check with your community social services to see if they have donations. Have you talked to her doctor about a PT evaluation to assess her weakness?

Also it may be time to find washable bedpads for those accidents. It most likely willincrease. The problem with diapers is that she may have difficulty when changing and redressing. She will need full supervision soon
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Reply to MACinCT
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I recommend calling them "comfort briefs" to distinguish them from regular underwear and give them a positive spin. After all, they will make her more comfy. I agree with the 2-hour toileting schedule.
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Reply to dragonflower
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