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I’m a caregiver for my grandma along with my mom. She’s bed bound with very little movement and has all the complications that comes with that.


I find it hard to balance the day in and day out of being a caregiver with other things like school. I took time off this summer and this semester to try to give myself time to adjust to the work at home, but I honestly don’t think I can handle school, work, and caregiving at the same time. Also, I have a younger sister (13) who I am often responsible for.


One major issue I’m running into is the fact that my injuries are preventing me from doing my work. I’m a freelance artist and because of the amount of time I spend drawing daily, i have stress injuries in my hands. since i’ve been caregiving for my grandma, i haven’t been able to work because the lifting involved with caring for her stresses my hands and by the end of the day when i have time to work, my hands are on fire and i can’t even lift a pencil.


The fact that my grandma has for a long time had an abusive dynamic with my family doesn’t help at all. she outright doesn’t like us, and will not hesitate in letting us know, but she’s glad to use us as caregivers to avoid the nursing home.


I’m feeling like a lot of my identity is being taken away and absorbed into my grandma. Sometimes I feel like a diaper changing machine and nothing else. my mom and I try to split the work, and I am only in charge of turning and changing her diaper every few hours, but it is still overwhelming. at this rate, i can’t see myself returning to school, or work, or even being able to have friends or things that i enjoy.


Any advice? I know many of you are parents as well as caregivers, with a lot more responsibilities than i have. how do you balance it all?

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First with your hands turning and doing a brief change might not be good. Can your mom take on that task for a while?
If your grandma is cognizant of the fact that you and mom are caregivers so that she can avoid a Long Term Care Facility then she is cognizant enough to be nice to whoever is doing the caregiving. AND she should also be made aware that the two of you can not do this yourselves and that SHE will have to pay for a caregiver to come at minimum a few hours 3 or 4 days a week.
Is grandma on Hospice? If not you might want to discuss this with mom. Hospice can help a LOT and you will have equipment that you need to properly care for grandma. If you need a Hoyer Lift so that you can more easily change the bed, change her Hospice can order it. A hospital bed that will minimize repositioning her because they can order a bed with alternating pressure mattress that will minimize pressure spots. You would have any medications delivered, a CNA would come in a few times a week to bathe grandma and order supplies. And you would have a Nurse that would come every week to check on her and order medications. Hospice also has volunteers that normally come and sit with grandma so you can get a break or run to the store. they can not do "hands on" work but just being there so you can have a break is a great feeling.
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You are way too young, to be anyone's caregiver. You need to be back in school, and work and enjoying your life.
And grandma needs to be placed in the appropriate facility ASAP. This situation is not good for anyone involved, and the fact that she doesn't even like any of you, is all the more reason to get her out of your house. Tell your mom that you just can't do this anymore and that it's time for grandma to leave, or you're going to leave.(not a bad idea either). I'm sure your mom doesn't like the situation anymore than you do, but only you guys can make the necessary changes. Good luck.
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