My dad is in an AL facility. We moved him there after my mom, his primary caretaker, died unexpectedly in February. My mom told us for years that his doctor suspected he has dementia. I took him to a GP right before my mom passed and my dad didn’t pass the minicog. He couldn’t draw the clock. We explained all this to the AL facility when we applied two weeks later.
My dad has very little short-term memory. He asks the same questions over and over. His personality has started to change and now he’s saying inappropriate things about the workers (they have nice legs and other inappropriate comments about body parts). I never heard him say things like this to anyone before. The AL head nurse said because dad only has “worsening cognitive decline” in his file and not a dementia diagnosis by a neurologist that they have to treat it like he is saying inappropriate things on purpose. She did say he’s shown some cognitive decline, but when given a minicog there she said he passed.
They are having another psych NP see him next week and we are trying to get a referral for a neurologist.
The nurse said he would be good for memory care if we can get a diagnosis but if not then they will search for places that take seniors with behavior issues. I’m totally scared since my dad just got comfortable there.
Anyone have experience with this? They put him on an antipsychotic drug to help with the inappropriate comments but it’s not working.
He also has incontinence and wears adult diapers. Sometimes he forgets that he uses a diaper and tries to go to the bathroom. It is particularly dangerous since he is in a wheelchair and can’t walk or transition by himself.
My mom is home with care, with late stage dementia and all the things that come with it. The hospice drugs and anti phycotics either made things like anxiety much much worse or put her in a stupor. Did a lot of research and found CBD/THC is helping immensely. She’s still got dementia of course but she’s MUCH better off than on the antipsychotics. Do your own research-not sure where you live but if you can get CBD/THC you might want to give it a try. Not sure how CBD/THC works in memory care but I’m not a fan of the ‘off label’ pharmaceuticals and what I’ve seen them do to my mom and I’ve read I’m not alone. Just my experience in seeing a huge difference between the two. Thoughts are with you as you navigate.
Google the Nova show that recently aired on THC.
Also, Care Homes always give out too many meds everyone and says it's because they're depressed, have anxiety or act inappropriate, etc, ect but the real reason is to make them more compliant and zombie like so it makes it easier on the Nurses and Aides.
Those meds can really mess up a person's brain especially when they already h e memory problems. The meds can also make them suicidal.
Thank you for your help!
I would say that Dad has lost his filter. What comes into his head comes out his mouth. He probably should be in MC. An AL can only do so much.
“They put him on an antipsychotic drug to help with the inappropriate comments but it’s not working.”
of course it’ll not work.
definitely take him off it!!
he doesn’t have psychosis.
he probably does indeed have dementia, and sometimes people do/say things out of character.
no drug works against dementia.
it’s simply an unfortunate illness/deterioration of the brain.
i really hope you can find a good solution/good place for him (whether it’s there, or elsewhere).
Get another doctor, and tell them to stop drugging him.
Find a good memory care. They should have an on-staff nurse who'll visit Dad, give him some cognitive testing and decide if he's a good fit (and he will be). I never had any nursing home ask if we had a diagnosis of dementia from a doctor (although we did) -- the MC decided.
Get him out of AL because he's way beyond that anyway, and get him to a memory care facility that can care for him through end of life.
I want to correct a part of my earlier post. I meant that dementia is not a mental illness. I wrote disease but meant illness.
knew this before he got there and they still agreed to take him. He can stand but needs someone with him for all transfers.
Dementia isn't a mental disease.
Drug free behavior management is the best gig in most cases.
Additionally, adult pull-ups work well for dementia folks cause they work like underwear and are less expensive overall due to use of a toilet.
You are your dad's strongest advocate so keep asking questions. Read, research and say NO, cause you can always change it to yes.
I’m just so nervous about getting the diagnosis and finding a good place because my sister and I thought this place was good for him at first.
This should raise a serious red flag for you about the competency of your father's health care providers.
The AL people want him out of their facility. That's why they're pushing a need for memory care or trying to find a facility for seniors with behavioral problems.
There is always going to be some kind of behavioral issues when there's dementia or cognitive decline. The people at the AL know this too.