Hi everyone. I want to know if any of you experienced anxiety, fear and or panic as a caregiver for your elderly person. I certainly am and do. I am going through meno which doesn't help. A lot of things don't help. But this is one of those paralyzing things that raises it's head at me.
I hold my breath waiting to exhale until I hear from her sitter in the afternoon and again at bedtime
FTR, I attend ACOA and counseling. Having a front row seat to aging is so hard. I am in a panic state of living in denial as a result of having my nose rubbed in it as a caretaker.
My therapist recommended a PDF book Called Staring into the Sun which talks about fear and anxiety of death - which is where I am at. It drives everything in my life.
I too was brought up with zero knowledge of boundaries but i guess all children of abusive parents are.
I'm joining my parents when my mother returns for her follow up visit to her doctor later this week. She was hospitalized Sunday and just released. Long story, but won't go into it here. If she's not going to accept recommended treatment, I'm going to seek a counselor to help me with my responses to my parents. AND I'm moving out and advising them to make other arrangements for someone to help them. That's my boundary. Either follow doctor's advice or handle it on your own. I won't be a witness to self destructive behavior. I'm telling them that I won't be their POA either. I'm not volunteering to stay on a train of misery.
What I am experiencing is anxiety, fear and panic in my mom. She's mid seventies and it's very problematic to her, causing physical problems, debilitating, and causing me, stress. I may have to get therapy myself, even though, she's the one who needs it. lol
Seriously, I'm going to ensure that she gets treated for it. My family is backing me up, thank goodness. I've learned to not allow her to push my buttons. It is an illness, but you have to set boundaries and not let others run you to the ground. I think setting boundaries helps, if the senior is able to process things. If they are incompetent, that's different. We still have to keep that in mind and work around it, take breaks, get help, not over obligate, etc.
If these feelings are more than fleeting episodes and/or if they are interfering with you functioning normally, please please get some medical help.
Many women experience some hormonal depression just from menopause alone. Add caregiving on top of that ... well, you deserve some help, lady!