Anxiety and Alzheimer's...

Right now.....the results of the Valium are still out.....
I still find it interesting how the mind works....
She can’t tell time but can certainly remember every time over the last few days that I have not done what she wanted...
Not a complaint...just interesting

So as I am not a medical professional, here's what I think MAY be happening - it's going to take time for her body/system to adjust to the new medication dosage. However, you should consult with her physician STAT to see what he or she says. Prayers to you. This is a horrible disease. But YOU need respite and you need it now, else you'll crack. Contact your town's social worker. Start there. And don't wait.

Teepa Snow might have some suggestions. Access her website. It was recommended to our family by Dementia Australia and has been so illuminating and helpful in understanding what the patient is doing/feeling/saying.

Your wife's anxiety is from frustration of not having control or understanding... and you probably understand that very well. Sedatives may take time to get to a "best dosage" and "best combination" of medications for her. You're doing a good job of dealing with all the possibilities for her increased anxiety.

However, her behavior is making it hard for you to cope. How do you get a break from caregiving... and a little quiet time? Maybe it is time to get a little help so you can get breaks away to regain some peace.

I so get it. And sadly that is a classic symptom of Alzheimer’s. this disease affects everyone slightly different. At some point you’re going to need help (such as a caretaker person who maybe comes to do light housekeeping but also spends time just listening to the endless rambling conversations that go on inside the mind of a person with dementia). My mother has it and sometimes it’s so bad I just have to hang up the phone. However when I take her out in public she often is less talkative which gives me the much needed break. Go to a restaurant or a church and sit for awhile and see if she calms down.

Also, meant to say - if you increase a med that sedates, you might want to add a colace during the day to avoid constipation issues. What slows down the body can also slow down the gut.

I agree with another post - rule out UTI first. If that's not a problem, ask doctor about increasing dose on certain days like this.
I'm sure you have, but... do you try to redirect the conversation to something totally different? Maybe hand her some sort of 'project' that she might work on - like a box of buttons and tell her that so-and-so needs them put in plastic bags by color. Or maybe a jar of change that could be sorted by denomination....or put coins into coin rolls. Not knowing how bad her dementia is, there might be some children's toys/tasks that could be used as diversion.

I started the valium about 45 minutes ago...I am very cautious with taking medications..and I am watching her like a hawk...she seems calmer but has gone through this stage before....
I am very frustrated with the Doctors Office since no uti results yet...

I find that lavender oil is very calming. When my husband is anxious I have him smell the lavender and I put it on his temples. It actually calms him. I also have a fidget blanket where he calms down by the textures. Lastly I have found him to be more anxious when I up the dose of the Lorazapram. Good luck to you. We all know that relentless anxiety. I hope some of these tips work. It is sundowners season.

Since your doctor prescribed it, I feel that the valium would be ok and help. It is a roller coaster and hopefully she will be able to calm down. I know it is hard to deal and you seem aware of how to handle it. In my experience, as much as you want to express frustration, turning on the soft soothing voice is the best way to go. Peace be with you my friend!

UTIs are not the only thing to look for. When my mother starts veering away from her baseline mood swings we look for constipation and pain of any description. Dementia patients are, progressively, unable to express pain and/or other discomfort. When the doctor asks if she is in pain she indicates no, but when he says where does it hurt, there is a positive response. Even hunger and thirst can cause distress. In my mother's case (vascular dementia, Alzheimer's, frontal temporal and maybe LB very recently,) her behaviour has become so extreme she has been hospitalised with either hypo or hyper delerium. The behaviour of each is just as alarming as the other. One occasion was triggered by the aged care facility leaving her in a wheelchair too long, her body ached and away she went. I felt for the staff on that occasion. In trying to amuse my mother, to enable her some social interaction with other residents, and with mother being unable to describe her ''pain'', she became quite aggressive so off to hospital yet again. I know that does not help you to find some space for yourself to have a breather, but it might give you some clues to head off future little episodes. I hate to say this but sometimes there just is no answer.

She sounds manic. Was there new meds? Or delerium from UTI (confirmed yet?) Seizure or stroke crosses my mind too.

Is she so distressed she won't eat or drink? Dehydration?

Is there a medical advice line you can access? Would they suggest urgent care/hospital?

Still nothing back from the urinalysis...been at the pharmacy for about 45 minutes....
I am concerned about the side affects for us older people....According to the drug details...more likely with children and the elderly....the side affects can actually be worse than the current level of anxiety...

I would give her the valium, it can't hurt and it can possibly help calm her down until you find out about the uti.

Im a little surprised you haven’t heard anything from the doctor yet on the urine sample, maybe it didn’t show up on the rapid test but from the info you have provided here I think I would give her the Valium at least until the determination is made about UTI and even if it’s positive maybe for a couple of days until the antibiotic has a chance to take hold. The anxiety is so hard on them as well as us and saving her from as much of the suffering with it as possible is as beneficial for her as it is for you so no guilt about it.

Thanks for all the responses......Still haven’t heard back from the Doctors office about whether there is a uti...
The neurologist has prescribed valium...from my description of the problem they think she may be in a crisis and needs to be calmed down.....I am waiting for the uti results first....she has been frantic...I have tried the typical diversionary techniques....and it works for a few minutes then it starts again....
She is mid stage Alzheimers......This has been going on non stop for 8-12 hours a day...
The is no way for me to respond correctly all the time with this being so relentless...
I talked to the 24 hour Alzheimers help line last night and that helped a little...

Does it help if you verbally "agree with" her accusations and anxieties and make some motions of addressing the complaints or fears? You won't be able to talk her out of her accusations; opposition will just make them stronger and more urgent.

I remember someone on the forum once talking about going out in the backyard with a flashlight to look for the "intruders" their LO was convinced were out there. Just for someone to respond and take some action help calm the episodes.

Don't berate yourself for losing it once in awhile. The frustration and anger are real and expected. I sometimes used to get frustrated and angry at my dying husband and think "You can't be mad at someone who's dying," but, yes, you can and sometimes will be. It helps to find other outlets for your own feelings. You can vent here on the forum whenever you need to.

As long as she is safe can you...
Use headphones or ear buds to block out the "noise"
Is there anything that you have done in the past that can help calm her? Music of some type? Art, reading to her?
If none of this works is she alright with someone coming in to give you a break? Even just an hour away might help you.
Is she on Hospice? (If not you might want to call and see if she is eligible, there are lots of advantages) If she is on Hospice if there is a problem getting the medication correct you could ask if they would consider putting her in an In-Patient Unit until they get the medication adjusted properly. Or if she is on Hospice you could ask for Respite, Medicare will provide for 1 week per year of Respite for Hospice patients.

Sounds like you are taking the right steps...test for UTI, upping her anxiety dose, etc.
It would seem to me that the only thing that may be left to do is look at how people approach her. Do they know how to 'invite' her to do things, ask her kindly, etc., or is there re activeness in the caregiver so that the patient has to be up in arms and protect themselves from that charge?

Mom is 98.5 yrs. old. She has those episodes, now each day when she is told to do something she rather not, she gets upset. It has to do with their sense of loosing control of their life. As much as it is frustrating and exausting for us, I always think about what if I was in that situation. How would I behave?

I often tell Mom that I understand her frustration. I ask her to tell me about (what she can remember). Sometimes, when I act interested and she feels heard, the constant complaining stops. Don't fix her state. Just listen and let them express their frustration. It usually has sadness underneath.

In a way, there is not much we can do to make them feel better and that is not only very sad, but conflicting to our hears since we are exhausted. Totally understood.

There are videos on youtube from an expert in these areas: Teepa Snow. Watch the way she deals with these episodes. It helped me lots.

All the best to you. Be kind with yourself...I know it is hard, but you must take time off, even if half-day. Blessings!