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I care for my mother full time she's 89. I moved in with her a year ago when we realized she was taking her medication every hour instead of 3 times a day. She had neck surgery, and it was suppose to be simple enough put brackets between her bones so her spinal chord would not be crushed by bones. Surgery went great, then 5 days later the brackets collapsed and broke her neck. She now has a steel rod and plates screws you name it that holds her head on. She is on heavy narcotics for pain, so between the meds and her age her mind is pretty much gone. She only weighs 98lbs and she takes enough meds for a 300 pd man and they only make her hyper it's amazing the energy she has, alot more than me. Her memory only lasts about 2 to 5 minutes i just gave her a pill she walked down the hall and turned right around to take another one. I said we just took it she gets so mad at me and says your lying i havent had one all day. i might be forgetful but I know if i took something (Really) We do this about 500 times literally a day. I redirect or try and then she moves to the next thing where are the cats.. havent seen them all day as she is stepping over one of them.. I havent fed them all day so she will go get yet another bowl of food and water. Her new record is 6 bowls of food out at one time. Then it is straight back to i need a pain pill. She is in constant pain so it just keeps retriggering to take one again. We have tried everything to relieve it but the medications just make her worse. I just took her off the morphine it made her a complete lunitic she would go thru every drawer in the house over and over for hours on end and never sleep. Now she just takes her 2 other pain pills and not the morphine on top of that. This has helped but i just can't control the pain and there is nothing else they can give her due to the reactions she has. When I take her to her pain doctor every 3 months, she will tell them that she never takes any pills, so then I have the frickin nurse smart off to me and say well if you gave your mom her pills she wouldn't be in pain. I was just in shock, she really thought I wasnt given her anything and I really think she thought I was taking them. i'm just venting it's now 2am and she has not run down yet, and as I'm typing she is still yelling for me to go find the cats. I have help for 4 hours a day where i'm trying to keep my relationship going i have been in for the last 16years and it's nice to visit my house and my life. It just gets so crazy sometime, you feel like your in a bad dream and you never wake up. We tried with her living at my house but it just didnt work, she has lived here for 60 years and I just wanted her to be comfortable and not so scared and disoriented. and with the hours she keeps it was impossible for my partner to function and go to work everyday with no sleep. Do you ever feel like you dont belong anywhere. i dont feel at home here and I dont feel at home there.

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that last line does not surprise me at all. lived with my husband and son in complete loneliness for years. live by myself now and could not possibly be happier, LOL!
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Those are great suggestions. We have a huge dryerase board with evrything on it, pills, food, got the mail the paper fed the cat on and on. We have 2 of them. Her responce usually is why do you write that crap down when I don't do it. She is just infuriating at times thats when i want to scream and run away. Then i will ask her would she please stop being so mean to me, then she is so sweet and says she is sorry she doesn"t mean to do that to me, then i feel like a big piece of crap, then 20 minutes later she is yelling at me again and the cycle will continue over and over. Maybe i can talk to her doctor about a placebo, it's worth a shot. I love her so much and I miss my bestfriend and since the surgery her voice has completely changed, I long to hear it sometimes. Thank you for your suggestions and just giving me someone to talk too. I find it amazing you can be with someone 24 hours a day and you are always lonely.
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I know this might sound really simplistic, but how visual is your mother? There is the option of creating a sign system that works for you. Something like a peg board, coark board or something else that you can hang "notification signs" for her to see - basic things like: I took my pills at -blank- time, and, I fed the cat today along with plenty of other things that I'm sure she askes over and over again. Keep the signs somewhere that you know and she doesn't, then when the action is taken, you ask her to post the sign up so it can be seen and referenced to... Just a thought, it might be worth a try. Another thing that I do that works really well with the pills, is I take masking tape and tape the pill box tabs down. Then when the pills are taken, the tape is removed and thrown away, another visual reminder that the act of taking pills happened even if she doesn't remember it happening. So sorry about the frustration. It is so hard to hold your temper when you want to pull your hair out and scream. Hugs.
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are there any candies that look like her pills? i'm not joking. give the pills when they would normally be given, give her a candy when she asks for a pain pill but it's not time yet. if she is that far gone, she may not realize the difference. if you cannot find a candy that looks exactly the same, you could tell her that this is a newer type of medication and it's to be given in between times.
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