My uncle died last year and my aunt always asks where he is. How do I answer?

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Should some of his things be around so she thinks he is there? My aunt lives in TN and just came home from a care center - she gets around ok and was able to shower on her own, etc in the center. My cousin fixed up the shower at home (no tub) and has handles everywhere, but she fell and spent the night in the hospital. they have nursing scheduled to help her with her bathing a few times a week now. She is having trouble adjusting to home and is looking for my uncle, My friend's mom had Alzheimer's and she used to just say he went to the store, etc and her mom was ok with it til the next time. Is that a good way to handle it? My aunt and uncle grew up together as kids and she isn't gonna forget him soon. She usually knows me when i call, only once she sounded confused and she had just woke from a nap. Would it be good to put a few of my uncle's things around the house so she would think he was there, just out? At the care center they said not to mention him unless she brought it up as she would eventually forget him. what do we do til then? Thanks for your help

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well, I was with her when he died and she attended the service - so sometimes she knows and sometimes she doesn't It is very confusing
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I don't see how telling her something that she can't properly process will help. Each time she hears the new news, it's going to upset her. It just seems like unnecessary pain to me. It's a personal decision, but I would not tell my loved one about a death in the family. She would be shocked and hurt each time she learned the news. I would just tell her they have gone out of town and they send their love.
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Thanks Maggie - that really helped. Windyridge, it took me awhile to find what I was looking for as it is my first time on the site, but did find that info.
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Unless she is asking, 'Where are his things???" I wouldn't even think to put them out.

If she asks where he is, if it were my mom, I might be tempted to say something like, "he's gone for a while," and try to redirect her. If that approach seemed to agitate her and she couldn't leave it alone, I'd tell her the truth.
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There was a recent discussion similar to your question. It was a question posted by gaysocha, I think, 6 days ago. Scroll down and check it out. This is a common dilemma for caregivers.
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