My mom, who has been repeatedly tested, EKG, blood, urine, B/P, oxygen, you name it; is a very healthy 85 year old woman.
Daily life with mom ... She shuffles along, refuses food and gags until she can throw up what little bit she does consume. On the phone with my siblings, she sounds vibrant and cheerful. But, with me, she is at death's door. If I have to be out, I get a sitter, she objects. She wants to refuse PT, OT, Nurse and Social Worker. Because I welcome them, allow their services, she "punishes" me by refusing food. She plays helpless. Hands her denture to me, tells me to put her nightgown on her. She fights taking her meds, but she doesn't win.
It feels like she punishes me for caring. OT told her she must do activities, like dress herself, walk to kitchen to return a glass, etc.
PT, is here now. "How are you doing?" Standard response ... "Oh, so, so"
Is this another game? How should I deal with it?
Also, she did her own shower, no problems. On January 4, my deceased father's birthday, she could no longer take care of herself. Poof, like turning the switch off. This no shower is becoming a sanitation issue at this point.