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Mother is 76 and has alienated everyone in the family. We support her financially but it's her way or the highway. She has no filter and when she lashes out she makes up stories so it's always the other persons fault. When you try to reason with her she becomes angry, irrational and frequently play the "i want to die card". She spends her time rehashing old fueds and the only one who isn't in her crosshairs is the person she's talking to. This behavior started about 5 years ago and we don't know what to do. Help!

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It sounds like Mother started having cognitive/emotional issues five years ago. Has she seen a doctor in that period of time? Has her change in behavior been discussed with a doctor? Has she seen specialists, such as a behavioral neurologist?

It sounds like Mother has dementia or a similar disorder. If true, she can't help that. There are treatments that can help the symptoms, however. Also learning what is wrong can help you learn how best to cope.

It is entirely possible that once you have a diagnosis you will still want her out of your home. Nothing wrong with that -- but with a diagnosis you'll be better able to figure out where she should go.

I think your first step should be to try to figure out what has caused her to lose all her filters and become irrational.
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We told the MD about this and he prescribed Xanax twice a day for mom. Later he added half a celexa pill at bedtime. She is much improved. I suggest you have a chat with the MD. When mom said she wanted to die, I told her " Stop taking all your pills. It will all be over in 48 hours." and "It's your choice". When she said she wanted Jesus to come and get her, I told her "Jesus will come when HE decides, not when YOU decide." Being a religious woman, she knew she couldn't order Jesus around.
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You have to get her out of your home. No one needs to live like you are describing. Until my mother got better, with nursing home care, she would lash out, too. Her eyes would even change. I called it her game of "I win. You lose."
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