I have a sister who is very ill, in the past almost 12 months, she has gone from a mental hospital, an assisted living facility, another nursing home, the hospital and now is in yet another nursing home, where she is now bedbound, does not talk and has a few other health issues. I truly believe a lot of her mental and physical issues are a direct result from her having watched her soul mate, her beloved husband, suffer terribly over a 6 month period in a hospital where he ended up dying, this was 6 years ago. She never fully accepted his death and never got the proper grief counseling, nor therapy for the depression.
She has 2 sons, one who was living with her, not working and this useless fool was charging her for any housework, yard work etc he did around the home, he actually presented her with written bills ( who does that to their Mom, especially when they are paying nothing toward household expenses?). The other son works, but his wife does not and they have a tween and 4 yr old. And they lived with my sis and bro in law for 4 months, or so, over 7 years ago, they too paid no rent, nor contributed toward any bills, nor did they housework or cooking
I care for our elderly mother, who 3 yrs ago passed out and hit her head, my mother was perfect prior to the head hit. I care for her 24/7, but I do get some help from family ( I have a wonderful sis-in-law who always offers to watch her on her days off from work and my brother does too and another sister and bro in law who throughout the year travel here and stay for a few days or so to help out), but I mostly do the bulk of caring for my mother and I do not like asking for help since they all have their own busy lives and I do not want anyone to ever feel I am taking advantage of them, but I am extremely grateful for their offers and help
I feel terrible that I cannot care for my sister too, but there is no way I could care for two ill people, the stress from my mother alone is intense and I do everything here, from cleaning, cooking, laundry, grocery shopping, on and on.
Now a year ago when my uncaring nephew said he was putting his mother away, I begged him not to, I asked him to bring her here and he could live here and we could take turns caring for her, he lives in the South, I live on the East Coast. He flat out refused, I warned him my sister would deteriorate if she was put away, he denied it would happen, and, yes, she certainly has dramatically gone downhill.
I have this rage and hatred for my nephews and the wife of one too! I will not lie, I screamed at my nephews on the phone when they merely mentioned putting my sister way, but when upon learning they were actually putting her away and I could not contact them voice to voice, I left the most profanity laced, angry phone messages I could make, I was irate and heart-broken that they could not just hire people to help out and that 1 lazy bum could get a job and help out too.
Now it turns out these two sloths just inherited hundreds of thousands of dollars from their late father's mother ( their grandma passed way last fall), I thought for sure they would reflect on all their Mom did for them in their lives ( these 2 jerks did things when they were teens that did bring shame to their parents, things that made their neighbors label them as the bad house and my sis and bro in law forgave them over and over), but I thought for sure they would use some of that money to help out their Mom, bring her home, get her all the therapy she needs, etc...but no. of course not., these two greedy pigs are using that money or themselves ( btw they never bought gifts, visited, etc that grandma who they got that inheritance from, she even used to give them each a grand or so for each Christmas and birthday and the selfish pigs never even bought her gifts!) I just cannot believe the utter narcissism and selfishness these two sons and daughter in law have displayed. It's so true that when things get rough people's true colors are revealed and their colors are vomit/feces colored!
Has anyone gone through something similar and if so, are you still seething, or have you found a way to release that anger? I seriously hate my nephews, it sickens me that they could only do the easy thing, not the right thing, How on Earth can one forgive people who show so little sympathy and compassion for the woman who brought them into this world, raised them, took care of their needs and loved them unconditionally? I wish I knew how to release this rage, but I fear if I do not have this negative energy toward those swine it will be like I accept their egotistical insensitivity and no bad vibes will be clinging to them, I like to think that somehow they feel my hatred for them and it brings them bad luck. How does one release this hatred without letting the perpetrators get off Scott-free?