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Middlechildleft2, Sooo last yr. I posted about my deadbeat sis. Well mum is back in rehab, she went in hospital on the 14th, for gallbladder - gall stone the size of a baseball and needed surgery, then pneumonia (ICU) for 2 days, finally yesterday arriving at rehab. Mom can not stand for more than 1 minute, can not walk for than 4-5 steps with a walker, and get confused all the time. (*side note - last yr. PT and OT and Dr. said she was NOT ready to go home and needed a few more weeks in rehab, but she signed her out anyway.)Problem #1, medicare only covers 21 days, sis refused to get medicaid to pick up any balance, because it would also cover her staying in rehab/ nursing home. and Problem #2, she is already saying she is going home after the 21 days whether or not she is ready, Problem #3, Sis is also wiping out mom's SS $$ within 2-4 days after it is direct deposited in her bank. Sis does have POA as she drove mom down last yr. and had her sign papers, taking it away from the oldest sis.Problem 4*** Mom is being left alone 8-10 hrs. at night so sis can work 45 min. up the road, BIG CONCERN!, everyone I ask can not help me, they say my hands are tied. If it were a child that was not coherent, not able to be left unsupervised because of a High fall risk, the state would step in and help, Why wont anyone help with mom?? Worried the next time something happens she will not be strong enough to pull through.

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If you mom is now in rehab, there is a social worker there that you can talk to about these ongoing concerns you have about your mother.

If she is competent, she can assign a new POA to whomever she chooses.

Has any professional stated that your mother should never be left alone?

Have you offered to watch your mom while your sister works?

How do you know that mom's money "disappears" after it is direct deposited? Is that what your mother says? How would your MOTHER like her money to be spent?
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn
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Is the SS money disappearing because your sister is paying credit card bills relating to your mom’s living expenses? That would explain the pattern.

Your sister is taking care of Mom and working night shifts? That sounds enterprising (and tough), not deadbeat.

I understand your concern about leaving your mentally incompetent mom alone at night. Could you go and sleep nights there to help keep your mom safe?

i bet your sister is overwrought with all the work. Please support her if you can.
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Reply to ACaringDaughter
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It sounds to me like mom is suffering from elder abuse at your sis' hands. Have you considered reporting to Adult Protective Services? If you mom is competent she may decide to go along with a cover-up of sis' abuse, but at least you are getting this on the official radar. Might scare sis.
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Reply to rovana
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Is your mother still legally competent? If so there is nothing stopping her signing yet another POA which cancels the one your sister is currently relying on. Can you talk to your mother about the problems? Is there any reason why she would not understand that your sister is not working in her best interests? In your post, ‘she’ is a bit hard to understand - mother or sister? Mother may be focussed on getting home ASAP, but sister may be focussed on the money. Taking her SS money immediately is something most elders would understand and resent. Perhaps you need to think about how to assure mother than you will get her home as soon as you can, if this is why she makes bad decisions.

If you and your mother want to go down this path, I suggest that you consider getting it drawn up by a lawyer who talks to your mother and will provide a written record that this is her wish in view of current problems. They may also have suggestions about how to stop this happening yet again, perhaps by looking at money controls.
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middlekidleft2 Apr 26, 2019
Mom has dementia, I don't have access to any of her paperwork or medical records, / Mom doesn't remember one minute to the next, I sit with her for hours, leave to go to the bathroom and when I walk back in she's like "Oh Hi, it's nice to see you again". sis has her bf helping her cover all the bases so we have no recourse.
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Doesn’t sound right to me. I suppose you could try to have a family meeting with your mom and sister. Take it from there...
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anonymous840695 Jun 2, 2019
sometimes that's difficult to coordinate; needs to be lubricated slowly
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For Problem #3 - All you have to do is report this to Medicare. They will make arrangements for her funds to only be accessed by the recipient.
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BarbBrooklyn Apr 24, 2019
I think you mean that she should report it to the Social Security Administration. I wonder if Sis has been made representative payee?
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Your mother is mentally competent and can make all the bad decisions she wants to (and it sounds like she is making plenty).

Adults are presumed to have capacity until they are proven otherwise. It sounds as though your mom is physically frail but still knows what she wants. That includes the poor choice of going home and the further poor choice of giving your sister POA.

Unless you have the wherewithal to sue for guardianship and mom is found incompetent, you can't do anything.

I'm so sorry.
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laharris22 May 6, 2019
Been through all of this and you are right. Good luck!
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