There are problems among the siblings. It appears lifelong favoritism of one son is a big issue.
Daughter/D has been asked by mom to go to doctor with Mom and to do the talking.
D thinks Mom may have cancer.
Mom is a hoarder, so estate and other documents may be difficult to locate.
(I, The Sibling, am not a sibling in this situation. In fact, our family's situation is currently in great shape. Mom gets BIG points for taking responsibility and agreeing to move to a nice senior apartment in the city where my brother lives. She is safe, happy and we will celebrate her 90th in a month with a surprise weekend that is all about her.
My Parkinson's is well managed with meds., exercise, etc. I had Deep Brain Stimulation 2 1/2 years ago and am doing well. My brother and experienced, knowledgable sister in law seem to be doing well as primary care providers.)