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My friend has a bad hip and is a lot of pain. She needs to use a walker. We recently went for a CAT scan on her hip and she couldn't walk (with the walker) all the way down the hall. She had to sit on the walker and I pushed her. Unfortunately, she still drives and keeps the walker in the trunk. When she goes out alone, she must hang onto the side of the car in order to get to the trunk and lift the walker out. I worry that she'll fall while doing this and so make her pick me up so I can bring the walker to her car door. She has no family and lives alone while waiting for a vacancy at the AL facility. Am I wrong to worry so much about her?

(Since I also have to go with my husband when he must drive into the city, I am being run ragged.)

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Your a great friend and your looking out for her. Your right to worry about her, but worry about you too! Im glad she is willing to live at an AL center, you both will feel more safe and relaxed. Hopefully she can get in soon.
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I finally convinced her to pick me up when she goes some where locally -- except the hairdresser. (She just has to blow the horn and he comes out and gets the walker for her.) I'll be so happy when she finally gets into Assisted Living and I can let them worry about her falling at home.
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She's a high fall risk because of her age.
She's an even higher fall risk because she can't get around without a walker.
The risk increases since she has to hang onto the car to get to her walker.

So yes, she is in danger of falling when she tries to walk around her car by holding onto it and then trying to lift the walker out of the trunk. Your friend's falling is just a matter of time.
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Her license restricts her to drive 24 miles from her house, so my husband and I take her in to her doctor appointments. The CAT scan was nearby so she drove herself, only she couldn't even walk far enough with her walker to get to the right office.

Until two weeks ago, she could still walk with a cane. There are others who try to help her -- someone does her grocery shopping for example. The only 'public' transportation is the Sr. Citizen van and that is only available at certain times. The AL facility is in the city so can't help her here. I guess the question is: Is she in danger of falling when she tries to walk around her car by holding onto it and then trying to lift the walker out of the trunk?
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The AL Facility she is looking into may have those services or know where to find those travel services... Ask them, They should know.
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WE pulled my moms license away at 81. Brother is a fireman and says it iss too dangerous for her to drive. He has been to many a accidents and they always blame the lonely OLD Lady with no quick time reaction.
Please look into a community transportation for the elders or disabled in your area. They are usually just oversized vans, like the ones you see at the airports. Your friend may like the light conversations with the driver and other riders.
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My friend's parents took the City Ride. One day her mom got on, and the driver knew who she was. He took her to the parlor, and came back around, picked her up and dropped her off at home.
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Does your city have senior vans like CITY RIDE, or other transporation for disabled people? Google your city and look for assisted transportation, DMV may have something too. Salvation Army in your area may have suggestions. Your friend should not be driving if she has a sore hip. Her foot reactions may be slow and this could cause an accident.
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Worrying and caring about another person are 2 different things. I'm a little confused about your statement, "I worry that she'll fall while doing this and so make her pick me up so I can bring the walker to her car door."

Getting older does not illuminate the fact that you are an adult. If anyone survives a long period of time on their own, this person has to be respected for their independence.

I has seen too many well intentioned individuals take actions to deprive older adults of "what they think is bad for them" only to robe them of their dignitary and independence. Too many times resulting in a very sad and early death for the older adult.

You already have a responsibility to help your husband. That alone is an seemingly endless emotional compromise about you taking care of your husbands needs, and your own. Never forget you are responsible for the quality of your own life, your health and well-being. If you do not do that first, than you can not help anyone else.

You might think about asking your friend if there are areas that she thinks she may need some help with. If she says there are, the biggest gift you can give her is the information to find that help. Council on the aging in Shreveport is a great start.

This woman has taken care of herself without others taking care of her this long, so help her to find people she likes, can afford, can trust to do the things that will allow her to enjoy her life. If she needs help finding people, help her with that. Like anything else in life if you don't take advantage of opportunities you are offered that is your choice, and that is that.

Make the plans in your life revolve around what you need, not what you think others need. If not, than people knowing you will be writing on this blog about how you need help. That they see your care giving activities are a danger to your health and well-being, and want to know how they can change your life.

Sometimes being a good person needs to have limits.
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