So... for those of you I haven't met, here's the cast of characters...
1. Dad, 91, Parkinson's, moderative cognitive impairment, depression
2. Stepmom, 88, cancer
3. Brother, two years younger than me.
Dad and stepmom live in Mass.; I'm in Michigan, brother's in Seattle.
Dad went into the hospital in Feb. with blood clots, and we made the decision to move him into assisted living; we felt he could no longer get the care he needed at home, being nearly broke but having longterm care insurance to cover assisted living or nursing home costs. Stepmom remained at the house (which is in dad's name). At the time, Stepmom thought she would move into AL after several months (one issue being their dog, as the AL facility was not dog friendly).
Fast forward three months. Stepmom now says she has no plans to move into AL unless her health takes a radical turn for the worse (her son, at least, is not thrilled with this). Dad doesn't understand why she's not there, and thinks she's having an affair.
Tonight, she called, slightly panicked, after a pretty horrible day of accusations from Dad. She was worried he was somehow going to figure out how to call a cab and come to the house (which I think is exremely unlikely). I did tell her to alert the staff at the AL facility. Dad wound up calling my brother, claiming stepmom said he could only visit the house if my brother approved (and I highly doubt she actually said this).
Brother feels that stepmom created this situation and should take the lead to fix it. Can't really say I disagree, but figured I'd solicit some input from the crowd here on what I can/should be doing.
Ideas? Suggestions? I'd be tearing my hair out if I had any...