Am I the "bad guy" or is this dementia?

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Man, I really hate writing this. I am talking about someone I love very much, who built a life on his intelligence.

A week ago: there was a horrible stink. Alerted my significant other and he went to help and found out that my FIL couldn't make it to the bathroom and had a full BM in his pants.

A few days ago: was going to the convenience store. Asked him if we could get him anything and he looked at me blankly and said, "What's a convenience store?" He had no concept of it. After I clarified and suggested specific things, we were okay, but before that there was nothing.

He is calling dates by each number. For example, if he gets it remotely right, it is "Two oh one four". But he will talk about someone's birthday and say "one oh four twelve" or something like that unless corrected.

He has forgotten how to move the seat up in his car.

Today he came to us and handed me his clothes from the previous day. He says he washed them in his bathroom sink (we are a normal house with appliances) and he wanted us to lay them out for him). Maybe I am too harsh, but it was very odd because I do his laundry for him and he went to get detergent from the utility room and everything, just to wash those two items in his sink in his bathroom. We asked why, and he said because they were stinky.

This is SO UNLIKE the man we know. Does this seem like some sort of dementia?

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Dear Worried: Has FIL been to the doc yet? Hoping that all is well!
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Get Dad a complete physical with all blood panels you can think of including Thyroid - that can be a big one with dementia symptoms, and like mentioned above a UTI can wreak havoc with a Senior brain. Diabetes can cause mental problems - there are soooo many things that could be treatable. First stop is his family doctor.
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You are the good guy, no matter how he scowls at you. You just reassure him with "shit happens" and "happens to me too". If he had a stroke, the bloodwork would show it if it is done within two weeks. Call the MD and see if tests are in order.
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You are the good guy for asking questions and looking for answers.

NEVER question that guy instinct or little voice in your head trying to get your attention. It is almost always right. Please urgently follow up with his doctor, and if your instincts are that you're not getting the right attention, find another doctor.
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Definitely get Dad to the doctor ASAP. There could be a wide variety of medical issues causing his confusion and memory gaps. It could be rapid-onset dementia, but only a doctor can determine that.
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Of course you are not a bad guy. If this turns out to be dementia you and your SO will need to learn the most effective ways to deal with it.

A complete medical evaluation is in order. Please let us know how this plays out. Many of us have cared/are caring for persons with dementia.
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What on earth is making you think you are a bad guy?

Its is either a reversible medical condition causing this or it isn't. Sometimes something is found that can be treated, and it is urgent to find out, but otherwise this is indicative of progresive dementia. Have any new medications been started in the last several weeks?
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When is the last time he saw his doctor? It could be something as simple as a UTI.
The bowel problems are going to happen, especially if his diet is poor. He may have trouble even finding the bathroom, if dementia has started. He will need Depends or similar, if his problem continues.

He probably had an accident in his clothes and that is why he rinsed them out. They try to hide their problem.

You or someone needs his POA, so that you can pay his bills and make health decisions for him.

His behavior may not be permanent. My mother is 95 and was totally bonkers one day and now, is totally herself. But, he needs to see a doctor before he wanders away or tries to drive the car.
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