Who has 3 living adult children and 4 grandchildren.

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Who is holding you responsible? No way are you responsible for in-laws.  And if you decide that you will do it if fairly paid, then be sure you have the legal authority to accomplish the task.  You are not a serf.
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I believe if you are caring for someone you have the POAs. If she has children then they should be involved in her care. Are you married to her son, what does he say.
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The person who is responsible to take care of MIL is MIL. After that it’s who she can afford to pay or who is willing to do it.
Parkinson’s disease can include dementia but doesn’t always. Has your MIL given a POA to other family members? If so, they need to step up.
How long have you been doing this?
Is your MIL 44 or was that a mistake on your bio?
If your MIL is 44 then you must be very young.
Are you living in MILs home? That still doesn’t justify you as her caretaker if you don’t agree to it.
And if she is 44 then you need to run like the wind and live your own best life doing what you aspire to do and not what MIL’s family has chosen for you.
If you are trying to care for her while raising a family, that isn’t fair to anyone including your MIL.
As hard as it might be to say no now, it will not get easier.
Parkinsons requires long term planning for health care.
What implications have been made to you in return for you caring for your MIL?
Come here to vent anytime. When you say no it will create a shift that has to be worked through. There will be ups and downs. Expect push back. Good luck.
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Nobody should be "held responsible" for caring for anyone except a minor child they adopted or gave birth to. It can be (and often is) argued that adult children have an obligation to care for the parents that cared for them in their younger years, but even if you share this belief, it doesn't extend to in-laws.

A more important question is: How did you get into this situation and how do you get out of it?
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Are you being forced to take responsibility? By whom? Your husband?


Slavery is illegal.
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Shell38314 Nov 2018
Sorry, but had to laugh at your last remark! LOL
Be held responsible by whom?
Certainly not by the 3 adult children or 4 grandchildren, or your husband.
Helpful Answer (2)

No. You are not an unpaid servant. You can’t expect to take over MIL’s medical, financial and legal issues just because you are caring, but you certainly should have an important voice in the discussions. If that doesn’t happen, don’t keep on keeping on.
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