Am I my sister's keeper?

I hope this goes where everyone can see it. Im not sure if it does. Been extremely busy the last few days and couldn't answer everyone. I apologize for not getting here sooner.

My sister is 20 years my senior. I am married to a man who also is 20 years my senior. He is, due to an accident in August, temporarily disabled, so I am taking care of him as well as my sister.

I was raised with my sister's sons. They were never mean spirited until after we all became adults and I have no clue what turned them this way. No, it was not from long term care of their mother, as 3 of the 4 of them barely darken her doorstep except on holidays.

They do not take her shopping, rarely out to eat, zero doctor's appointments. They just do not want to be bothered with her.

My sister has a dog as her only companion. If it were not for her dog, she would have no one. She lives in a town where there are roughly 500 folks when everyone is home. No stores in her immediate town.

She can do things now for herself, but due to macular degeneration that may change. Should that happen she says she will go back to the nursing home, but is fearful of what will happen to her dog.

There is no IL in her county, and she adamantly refuses to move from her apartment to be closer here. Likewise, I will absolutely NOT move to her area and living together is impossible. We love each other, but sometimes we don't like each other.

I feel sad for her, but she will only go to her apartment and no, I will not become a POA for her.

I want to distance myself from the situation, but I just wanted to get opinions on my legal issues with this.

Her children are not in charge of her finances, and even if they were, there is no money to gain. My sister is very poor and lives in low income housing.

Abyway, I'll try to check back soon, but an extremely busy 6 days coming up for me, so please excuse me if I don't answer right away.

Thank you all for your time and kind words of encouragement. I can use them for sure and for certain!

Oh that us a hard one. My bf sister took her mom out of a nursing home and the contract signed stated the person in whose custody she was now in was responsible for her health finances and welfare having taken over for the nursing home she had been in. My ex bf did not pay a thing or help in any way because his mom had threatened to kill him several times and wanted to stay away from her. Dementia takes over and you never know what is going to happen. Mom even called the police on him. I think although legally he did not have to take any responsibility for mom, morally I felt he should have at least helped with her expenses. But no one could force him. They should have written another contract for moms care, voiding the first. I am so sorry. But we live in CA so maybe the laws in your state are different.

I know you meant to be helpful to your sister, but you are now seeing what a difficult situation it is.  If she is unwilling to move to a town where resources are easy to get to or unwilling to move closer to family members who could help, then what is the solution?  I am willing to bet her children have already been down this road with her and the nursing home was the only solution.  Now you have removed the nursing home from the equation and there is no fix other than one of you giving up your entire life to take care of her.  You are unwilling to do it and her children are unwilling to do it.  That is great that you were able to get her off of a medication that clouded her mind, but now what?  The situation is deeper than that.

If one of my aunts or uncles were to take my mom out of memory care, I would tell them they have just inherited all that comes with that decision.

No