My 87 year old mom is in the moderate to late stages of dementia. My 86 year old dad has most of his faculties but is slowly declining cognitively and has slowed down significantly in all other areas. Three of my siblings and I take turns going over to help one day a week. Invariably 1 of us gets sick, can’t leave work, or is away visiting grandchildren. It worked for the last 4+ years when my dad was running on all cylinders but now their need is too much for us to handle. It’s time for the professionals to step in. My dad was all for getting an in-home caretaker. She was there one day on a Friday and my mom freaked out all weekend long and my dad buckled and told us to cancel the caretaker who was wonderful. My dad and mom purchased an apartment at a really nice senior living facility in March but decided to stay home when Covid hit. Now that things are opening up, my dad decided it was time to start living there. They are there this week and my mom is miserable - always mad at my dad, crying all the time and accusing my dad of hitting her (which she has been doing for the last 5 months). Two of my siblings visited them at the facility and all my mom did was ask them to take her home. I was with them 3 days leading up to the day they left giving them all the paperwork and instructions they needed to start living there. I have so much anxiety and cry all the time questioning whether we did the right thing. My dad promised my mom that if she stays all week he’ll bring her home on the weekends. He’s now realizing once she’s home she’ll never go back. What is the right thing to do? Why do I feel so sad, anxious and guilty? My mom was the best mom anyone could ever ask for and I just want her to be happy, well taken care of and safe.