My mom and sister have lived in the same area since we were kids where I left at 18 to do my own thing.
About a year ago, I moved back home, from several states away, so that my mom could move in with me due to her Dementia progressing into the advanced stages. My mom was previously living with my sister, but because of our mom's mental decline and my sister's kids entering high school and having a part-time job, our mom would have to be home alone a lot, which we weren't comfortable with, hence why I moved back. Thankfully, I'm able to work from home, so it works out.
My schedule revolves around my mother. I basically can't leave the house for more than an hour or two. Any periods longer, I have to ask my sister to come over and watch mom. While it's a little annoying that I have to work around my sister's schedule, I've accepted it because my sister has her life and her family's lives to manage.
What has me at a breaking point now is that my sister's not accommodating when my schedule changes. My sister agreed to watch our mom for a week because I'll be in a training class. However, I have to now take that training class in a different week. I proposed two new sets of dates and my sister said she couldn't do either week because she has appointments or because her son will be in a basketball camp.
Am I right to be angry that she's not accommodating my schedule change? Should I tell my sister she needs to change her schedule? Or am I just mad at the fact that I'm not getting my way? I just feel like my sister has no burden when it comes to the care of our mom because everything is around my sister's schedule, while I'm always accommodating my schedule around my mom. I've already lost a girlfriend because she and I weren't able to see each other much (granted, the pandemic didn't help things). I should point out that my sister takes our mom to her medical appointments most of the time, but those appointments work around my sister's schedule; if they don't, I take mom instead.
Putting my mom in a home is not an option, but I feel like I'm at a point that enough is enough. But if she is put in a home I'll feel like I let her down because I didn't suck it up and accept the way my sister is.
I'll look into possibly having a worker come during the day to watch my mom while I'm in class, but I want to know if I have a valid reason for being mad at my sister so that I can talk to her about it.