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Yesterday my Partner decided he could do something better than I could. Took his walker and walked to the kitchen and fell on his back. He yelled Sweetheart and I turned to look and he was falling backwards. I could tell he was alright, but I still asked him if I should call 911. There was no way I could get him up off the floor. Well he was intent on not going to the ER. We got him up finally. This morning he had to stay in bed because he had too much pain. PT came by and determined that he had no broken bones, but to be cautious he should sleep in his recliner tonight and see how he feels in the morning. Urinal and bedside toilet next to him. Oh My, I thought GREAT now I have to sleep on the couch to watch over him. NOT! Tonight I am in the bedroom, with the TV on, fan blowing (it is always too hot in this house), and reclining in bed about to watch tv and read. I handed him his cell phone and told him how to call me if he needs me. I turned on the TV to his favorite show (which he will fall asleep during). I am in paradise. I realize I must find a caregiver to take my time for at least once a week and maybe for a LONG weekend. I am SO tired. So very tired. I am even thinking that spending all the money on a care home might not be that bad after all. Oh well tomorrow I will be better and I will do my care giving again. Am I being selfish?

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You are all so right. The nurse was here today as he ran a fever overnight and I had to call the Nurse. Then the fever broke about 4 am and his rash seemed to start to clear up. I got very little sleep. But, I am resting good today. The nurse said they have talked it over and they are sending a health care Aid over one day a week, for now only an hour. But, I will use that hour to go lie down and fall asleep I have found that cat naps really work with me. I am hiring a housekeeper to come in every other week. It will take them a full day to clean this house. At least 9 hours. But, it will be such a great help to me. If the health care aid works out, I can extend the hours. I had no idea that it was offered with the Home Health here in Oregon. I am sure there is a limit and you start to pay at that limit. Whatever, I am doing it. My Partner wants me to. He is SO good to me. I am very very fortunate. It is SO hot here, over 100 on the Coast. There is a warning out for seniors and those with lung diseases. We are also concerned for fires here. We are so covered with forest along the ocean...It is paradise but paradise if it gets to hot, burns easy. Thank you everyone for your support. I love this site.
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Not selfish. Only human...... Do what's best for him AND you.
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ask yourself: do YOU want someone you love sacrifice their life for you? Probably, no you wouldn't. Why do you think YOU have to? Helping is one thing. Have a healthy boundary wherever and whenever you can. Less guilt for the loved one and more life for you. Everyone deserves a life; live yours and give what you can but stop dragging yourself down. Once you think about ways to do this you'll have more energy and the answers to the day to day problems will come for you. Like atracts like. Thoughts attract realities. Think of the gift of yourself, precious and guilt free.

When you do this, others value you more, YOU'll value yourself more and some things will take care of itself too. Lots of time the one in need is just dependent and maybe spoiled. Have a backbone and take some of your life back!

Love should not be about being consumed or guilt.
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OregonGirl, being selfish? Nope, being human. I read your profile and you have your hands full with sig other's Alzheimer's/Dementia plus Parkinson's. Plus you being a senior yourself.

Yes, might be time to hire a paid Caregiver to help you with sig other and to help around the house... to give you some breathing room... start with 3 days a week and see how it works out :)
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NOPE.. Everyone needs a break.
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