My grandfather is dying from covid and could leave us anytime this week. I’m trying to stay strong, but it’s been hard because I have this huge regret for not seeing him enough when he was well. My family is planning on seeing him from his bedroom window and asked me if I wanted to join them. I used quarantine as an excuse because I couldn’t get myself to go. I feel like I’m unable to see him in this condition, he’s weak and is in so much pain. This virus took everything from him and he looks so different now and is unable to speak. I feel really guilty for not going to see him during his final days but I don’t want my last memory of him to be this. I can’t handle seeing him like this and I feel so terrible. I wish I had visited him more and I don’t want him to think I don’t love him because I do, he’s the best. Am I a bad person for not wanting to see my dying grandfather?