Hi, I'm a 37-single guy, and my mother (72) has moderate dementia. (My father is 75.)
My parents for the most part live with my middle brother, where I visit and help around on weekends.
A few summer months they choose to spend in their (and my) hometown - a 5-hour drive from where my brother and I live now. I visit them here every other weekend. I take care of them - mom in particular - in all regards. But sometimes, I find myself "losing it", such as raising my voice, due to not being always patient around the clock.
Tonight, after I set the table and food for mom to eat, I began cleaning up. At some point she started to push the crumbs out of the tablecloth onto the floor. I grabbed her wrist at the middle to stop her, while asking her not to do that. I'm sure the grip wasn't strong for her to feel pain. She said nothing, nor was really aware of that, but right away I felt like beating myself up, also because of the fact she's very attached to me.
Where we live - the Balkan Peninsula- the state structures are nonexistent in this regard.
Thanks a lot for your time and input..