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My mom is 87 years old and has Alzhiemers. I dont know what phase she is in.
She is always feeling sick and sleeps alot. She often says "I wish the good lord would just take me" I am not sure how to respond when she gets in this mood. She is on medications for depression but they don't seem to be changing her depression?
The only thing she cares about is her dog,which she is constantly feeding. When I let her know that lulu the dog is overweight she gets upset.

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Any advise to my previous (sorry it's long) comment? :)
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The doctor doesn't seem to be concerned about anything but the nursers are and requested a doctors health check to see if the doctor agrees about hospice care. The doctor didn't agree but this was 2 weeks ago and we can still see her deteriorating rapidly. She's 88, diagnosed with stage 4 kidney failure last month but further blood tests have been requested for next week. She also has liquid around her heart but it's 1cm and the specialist said they will worry once it goes over 1cm. They are also suspecting a possible copd based on an X-ray from about 10 years ago. When on antidepressants she was so much worse so they were stopped. The nurses also suggested oxygen therapy but doctor said she was fine. They also said to keep her comfortable and give her to eat what she likes instead of introducing a kidney failure diet. Doctor thinks her breathlessness is caused by the heart which we can't understand as breathlessness is part of kidney failure she also itches a lot. She had a heart specialist check her heart and she doesn't have a heart failure only a bit of artial fibrillation. He also said he is sure her breathlessness is caused by the kidneys. When she scratches the skin flakes off onto the sofa. She's pale and has sore skin under and around eyes. She's lost a lot of weight in the last 6 or so months. She says she isn't hungry but she does eat everything we give her. She's mobile and talks normally apart from getting many things wrong for example she believed she had two grandchildren she even knew their ages and names. She only has one. When she sleeps through the day and we check on her her eyes are slightly open as if she's staring at something but without focusing on anything. At other times the eyes are moving and we think she can see and hear us but she's asleep or comes round very quickly saying she wasn't sleeping. Sometimes we are not sure if she's alive then suddenly she opens her eyes and says hello. When watching tv she doesn't focus on it anymore as if it's not on. Last week she said a nurse came to collect her heart monitor off her chest and to see how she was feeling. No one came but the monitor was taken off in a way which another person would be able to take it off for her. As if someone has been to take it off. She was meant to keep it on for 24h so they could assess her artial fibrillation but it was taken off within about 6 and hidden VERY well. It took us half a day to find it. She could still remember the nurse the next day describing what she wore and that she used to come to check on her mother. This would have been about 50years ago and the nurse back then was retiring and living 200 miles away. I don't know if this was her hallucinating or if it was a Death Bed vision. She can't remember the nurse today. She normally sleeps through the night. But the other day in the morning she called my husband twice by his deseased fathers name ( on the day of his fathers funeral anniversary which she could not possibly remember) then she slept all day ( went to the toilet only twice that day) and at night she was up and dressed ready for breakfast or going to the toilet about 5-6 times. The next day she was lost in her bedroom and couldn't remember where the toilet was (it's next to her bedroom). She even went into our bedroom to look for somewhere to put her tights. She wanted to wash her lunch tray in the bathroom. That night we thought she died because she never came out of her bedroom all night until woken up in the morning. She hasn't done anything like this before or since. The nurses are concerned and one will come to check her next week to see how bad she is. 
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What does her doctor say about her sleeping patterns, Blossombee?
What is her infirmity? (COPD, cancer, dementia, etc?)
How old is she?
Have you considered having her evaluated and treated for depression?
If you think she might be in the end stage, perhaps a hospice evaluation would help confirm that or say it is not likely at this time.
A few more details about MIL would help us offer more specific comments.
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My mother in law has just slept a solid 17h got up to go to the bathroom had breakfast in bed and went back to sleep. Does anyone think that this is the sign of the end stage? She can talk and is only partly incontinent still goes to the bathroom on her own and doesn't need help with it.
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My mother in law has just slept a solid 17h got up to go to the bathroom had breakfast in bed and went back to sleep. Does anyone think that this is the sign of the end stage? She can talk and is only partly incontinent still goes to the bathroom on her own and doesn't need help with it.
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I really believe anyone who reaches their late 80's and into their 90's is going a sleep a lot, whether they have Alzheimer's or not.   They have lived a very long time, they are tired.   Then throw in prescription meds which will cause sleepiness.

My parents, who were in their 90's, use to brag that they only needed 6 hours of sleep at night.... but they forgot to add in the naps they took after breakfast... the nap after lunch.... again a nap before dinner and a realllllly long nap after dinner.
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One of the changes toward the end of my husband's dementia was he began sleeping more and more. He also became weaker. Oddly enough his cognitive impairments did not seem to decline. When he reached sleeping 20 hours a day we called in Hospice. He lived 5 more weeks.

But he also had sleep problems throughout his disease (Lewy Body Dementia). He took one medication to help him sleep, and another medication to help him stay awake during the day. He had a reasonable quality of life -- he felt his life was worth getting up for.

I guess what I am saying is that excessive sleeping MIGHT be a sign that the end is near. If that is the case there will be other signs. If the body is taking its natural course in this way, there is probably not a lot to do about it, except make the most of the awake periods.

But dementia often causes sleep issues throughout its progression. Then it is worth trying to bring the sleep/awake ratio into a more "normal" pattern. My husband's sleep problems were present in the first month. He lived 10 years with the disease.

Depression is also a cause of sleep disturbance. If the medication your mother is taking isn't working for that, talk to the doctor who prescribed it. Maybe a different dose or a different drug would work better. Even if she is on the last leg of this journey it would be good if she could face it without depression.

She wishes the good lord would take her? "I can see why you feel that way. The disease you have is horrible. But we know that good lord will take you when it is your time to die. That will be joyous to be in heaven, won't it? Until then, let's try to make you comfortable here on earth. Is there something I could do right now to make you a tiny bit happier?" (Or a similar sentiment at a level she can understand. Mainly that she isn't a bad person for feeling that way and you'd like to help her feel a little better.)

I wonder if a hospice evaluation would be useful. They can probably tell if she is starting the end-of-life processes. If they say she isn't, then it might make more sense to encourage her to be awake more.

I've sure used a lot of words to say, "I don't know" haven't I? One thing I'm certain of: I wish comfort and peace for both you and your mother.
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My mother is 91 and will stay in bed until afternoon, or will get up, wash up, eat and sit for the rest of the day. She may go and attend her Respite Care but is perfectly happy to sit at home and not even exercise. Her physician stated this is part of the disease and gentle urging to get up and at least move around may help. He did prescribe a low-dose Adderall to give her some energy but they had no effect.We know her issue is depression and we have been through three different drugs with negative reactions. In my case all I can do is only suggest to my mother to attempt to move around. Yes, I am as worried and frustrated as you are, that my mother is so inactive, even at her age her doctor urges her to get up and out everyday! I know this is of no help but at least you are not alone. I do pray for every caregiver.
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It sound like my mother in law. She sleeps as long as this. It all started last month with her saying she'd be better dead or she wouldn't mind being dead etc. She can go to sleep as soon as it gets dark let's say 4pm And she can sleep until 11am the next day! She then sleeps during the day most days and we wake her up for meal times. We are fearing that she might be going through the dying process. Does your mum also sleep thought the night and then during the day?
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