Her home caregiver wants to marry her and had her file for divorce from her husband of decades. Her husband is losing her to Alzheimer's and to another man at the same time. What can he do?
Jokes aside, that sounds like ‘hearsay’. How exactly did you come by this information? How are you related to the parties in question? You’re not some nosy neighbor, are you?
Are you absolutely sure the aide wants to marry her? Where is this info coming from. I would recommend asking the aide first. An Alzheimer patients thought process is not based in current reality. It could be something as simple as an innocent flirtation on her part and the aide, not to hurt her feelings, simply said yes I'll marry you. Perhaps snowballing out of proportion. Separate fact from fiction! Assumptions can damage an innocent persons entire life. If the aide is indeed pursuing this seriously contacting his employer and Adult Protective Svcs is next on the to do list. Tied closely with contacting a lawyer, perhaps through AARP, to obtain some form of guardianshhip and/or power of attorney. Family participation is a must to avoid any hint of improper behavior. Getting to the divorce, papers filed stage suggests a lack of supervision and oversight. Investigate and do not assume anything.
Is the caregiver working through an Agency? If so report it to the Agency they are working for and request that the situation be reported to the Department of Public Health so that an investigation can be made. If they find no wrong doing on the part of the aide that’s fine but if there is a finding it will be on the Aide’s record so that they should not be hired by another Home Care Agency. If the aide is working without an Agency report him to Adult Protective Services.
Most people with dementia say they want a divorce because the caretaking spouse is seen as the barrier to what they want because that's who stops them from doing things that are unsafe so they become the 'baddie' so when someone is kind they can latch on -
Is it 2 way or just in her mind - the outside person may not know what is going on in her mind - best to ask in a gentle way before you jump to a possibly wrong conclusion
She could not get a divorce due to her ALZ - no reputable lawyer or judge would touch the case anyway -
In medical ethics, having affair with a patient or other staff is not accepted . The caregiver should be struck off or be warned. Other point is ALZ patient can not make decisions .Are you joking? Are you living in a under developed country?
She Can't divorce him if has been diagnosed with ALZ or Dementia. She can no longer make informed decisions. No lawyer should have taken this on and should be informed of her mental state.
DeaneJ, who is telling the husband that the wife is getting the divorce? If it is the wife, we all need to remember that her brain is broken, and she could be just telling stories. Or does the husband have memory problems? It could be him telling stories.
Maybe the home caregiver doesn't know anything about this. And since the caregiver is male, it sounds like the caregiver is there to care for the husband, not the wife.
You need to find out more to this, so that people arn't blaming the caregiver for something he is not doing.
Contact their employers immediately and get them replaced. Can you move in temporarily - 'to help'. Like the other have said they need protecting straight away! Good luck
I would fire and place a restraining order on this psycho, obviously he has some very serious mental issues. Get someone that can protect your parents as this person being thwarted will more then likely cause some very dangerous backlash.
He can petition the courts for an emergency guardianship and then work to make it permanent, in the process the court should be able to determine if she is competent to seek a divorce or is being unduly influenced. He needs a good lawyer.
GET ADULT PROTECTION INVOLVED NOW!!!
This person has gone through the finances and wants the money!!!
This happens all the time just to get the money.
NICHOLE SMITH AND HER 90 YR OLD HUSBAND.
GLORIA VANDERBILT!
JUDY GARLAND!
DEBBIE REYNOLDS!
TAKE ALL OF THIS TO A FIDUCIARY ATTORNEY AND GET TO COURT IMMEDIATELY!!!
Jokes aside, that sounds like ‘hearsay’. How exactly did you come by this information? How are you related to the parties in question? You’re not some nosy neighbor, are you?
Is it 2 way or just in her mind - the outside person may not know what is going on in her mind - best to ask in a gentle way before you jump to a possibly wrong conclusion
She could not get a divorce due to her ALZ - no reputable lawyer or judge would touch the case anyway -
Other point is ALZ patient can not make decisions .Are you joking? Are you living in a under developed country?
Maybe the home caregiver doesn't know anything about this. And since the caregiver is male, it sounds like the caregiver is there to care for the husband, not the wife.
You need to find out more to this, so that people arn't blaming the caregiver for something he is not doing.
Like the other have said they need protecting straight away!
Good luck
I would fire and place a restraining order on this psycho, obviously he has some very serious mental issues. Get someone that can protect your parents as this person being thwarted will more then likely cause some very dangerous backlash.