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We have put her on an every 2 hour toileting schedule. Most of the time she doesn't even go. She becomes very agitated at times and will talk continually about when the next time is. I know that it is anxiety related but we can't seem to do anything to reduce the anxiety. If we let her go the bathroom unchecked she will wipe so much that she starts to bleed.

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thanks to all of you who have posted. Just an update. I have found a Geriatric Dr that is great. We are working on switching around her anxiety medications. She is still obsessed but the Geriatric Dr does now believe that there is a big anxiety issue. We did have her completely checked out for internal issues and everything has come up negative. I am going to try the massage. I think that might work. She gets really dry skin which may kill two birds with one stone. Thanks again everyone
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Cricket, thanks and from reading a brochure from alz.org it seems my mnl is in between stages of 4 & 5 moderate AZ.
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Lildeb, you should be able to call the geriatric doctors office and ask to speak to their billing department or person. Ask if they accept Medicare and if they do ask them if you need a referral by the primary physician. Or you could call the phone number on the back of the Medicare card and ask them. They should also be able to look up doctors in your area to find a Geriatric doctor. Just make sure you call the doctors office and ask if they accept Medicare. If you need more help with this drop me a line on my profile page and I will give you more suggestions.
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Do you have to get prior physcian recomendation for the elder to see a geriatric in order for Medicare to help fork out some of the geriatric fees?
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Great suggestions Ruth! Doing the same massage on her feet would help to relax her. If you have the means hire a massage therapist who specializes in Reflexology to come to your house and work on her. This might be helpful also. I have read many comments suggesting we get a geriatric doctor for our parents because they are better educated to help the elderly. Also if she has dementia there could be some psychological issues at work. Good doctors are hard to find and it gets really frustrating having to deal with doctors who just passively treat everyone the same however, it's really worth the effort to find a doctor that has experience with the elderly and one that has a strong background in nutrition. Most medical doctors have very little knowledge on nutrition and thus their patients get over medicated. A good doctor and a thorough work up on her blood is probably the wises choice. Bless you for your love and care and don't forget to love and care for yourself through all of this.ღ
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I have a weird suggestion that has worked for me with anxious Dementia clients. Wrap both hands in warm washcloths. In a few minutes, remove the washcloths and give a gentle hand massage with a clean moisturizer (I use coconut oil). It really does work like a charm on anxiety. The other issue to address with your doctor is whether something else is going on internally that is causing the feeling of an impending bowel movement. This was the case with the Colonel, who had cancer. There was pressure within, and that's where he felt it, but it was not what he thought it was.
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Sounds like you really have your plate full. I hope everything works out at the doctor office to help ease her agitationand is the cause of the agitation which will help you relax a bit too.
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Well I'm not usually the pill pusher, but seems like if there was ever anyone that needed anti-anxiety pills, it would be your mother-in-law.
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She is drinking at least 64oz a day of water. She also is not constipated. I have looked at her bowel movements. She is on fiber 2x a day and we have checked for impaction and Urinary tract infections. It seems that the bathroom issues definitely worsen with increased agitation. I have tried distraction which works for awhile but doesn't seem to last. We are going to the doctor tomorrow to check again for an impaction.
I know that she does have and increase agitation because my FIL is also living with us and is on hospice. He is declining fast and is on hospice. I don't like using and anti-anxiety medication too much either. Any advice is helpful.
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How much water is she drinking?
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Is she going so much because she is agitated for she may be constipated or just agitated? My mnl would get agitated and she finally told me that she was digging her outs like little balls and she would bleed from there too. I told her she was very constipated and we needed to talk to her doctor. He gave me a prescription that works gentle on their tummy, yet it did take a couple of days before she had a 'normal smooth bile movement.' Anyone being very constipated can make you feel ill. I would suggest talking to her doctor and see what he recommends.
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