Alzheimers or just a jerk?
I visit my mom every Friday for happy hr at her AL facility. They have entertainers and music and only a handful of residents are able or want to dance. I love to dance and the residents thank me for being a part of their happy hr. One particular resident, an 81 yr old male in excellent physical health, can dance till the cows come home. At first I would dance with him but as soon as I did he would pull me in super close and his hands would start roaming my body. I had enough of his inappropriate touching and now avoid him on the dance floor. I just move to the opposite side. If he comes within a few feet of me he will try and grab me to dance with him so it's a continuous cat-and-mouse game. This past week he did a sneak attack and angrily grabbed my wrist really hard. I immediately tried to pull away. Luckily the facility manager was nearby and demanded he let me go in a very harsh tone. He glared at her and yelled, “She's a bitch!”, referring to me. He immediately went and sat down and glared at me while I continued to dance.
I've had conversations with him in the past and he's very pleasant and seems to be of sound mind.
Meanwhile, the manager reported him for this incident and told me it was the second time he's been reported for inappropriate contact with women while dancing. She said they will warn him and possibly talk to his children as well. My mom thinks he is very much aware of what he's doing. I'm on the fence. Next Friday I will be there and I'm very curious as to how he will behave. If he continues his inappropriate behavior what will that mean? If he changes what will that mean?
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Maybe this man has always been like this or maybe he has some mild dementia that is keeping him from controlling himself . Either way he will have to be told you would rather dance alone .
When my daughter was in high school she worked in AL after school serving dinner . There was “this dirty old man “ that my daughter told me about that was saying inappropriate things to my daughter and other girls . I told my daughter to report him . She did . It went on for a while longer then they put him in memory care .
I am sure he will be watched at this point.
There is a good possibility that if he continues to do this to staff, residents and or visitors the family may be asked to find another facility for him.
His diagnosis does not really matter, if he does have dementia of some type he may be moved to Memory Care rather than remain in AL if they allow him to remain.