Is it normal for mom with Alzheimer's to go to bathroom in depends and then wipe it all over the place?

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my dad have been wiping his no 2 from a very long time. His incontinent problems were there when he was working as well as driving. He end up not leaving work and staying there till my brother realized. He would not only pee and pow he will smash it all over the house, and on himself. Even now when changing him, I have to hold his hand otherwise he will put it in his mouth and in his eye. Before feeding make sure the hand and nail are clean. I spend a lot of time with him to take him in the showers, I wait till he forgets that he doesn't like to shower. In my experience all this is normal as the brain will keep dying till they forget to eat and then breath.
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It is common with Dementia and Alzheimer's patients, but there are ways to change this behavior to lessen the degree. First, you want to go down the checklist (medicine changed, hydrated & drinking plenty of fluids, new environment, boredom, social interaction). One of the best things to do, is to try the "redirection technique". If you are in the bathroom with her, try to get her to help to any degree, by asking, "can you help me put your brief in the garage?" Also by asking her simple questions that related to long ago (favorite food, place, color, animal, etc. but something she was fond of). Next, always bag and dispose of the brief promptly to prevent access to it. Change her after getting up in the morning, before meals, after meals, after bath, and before bed. You can also do a peek inside the side, and tell her, "I'm going to freshen you up, and make you more comfortable, wouldn't that be nice?" In the daytime, hand her a magazine to let her turn pages and look at pictures. Let her use a child's large piece puzzle (non-chocking size). Try to bring her into different rooms, have her watch some old TV shows. Sundowning time is the hardest, where repetition will be needed. Memories from the past especially stories that have been told over, and over, and over, and...well you get the idea, have been imprinted in her head. By using short descriptive questions, about one event at a time, that could get her to converse depending upon her stage. Boredom brings out some very strange, but not uncommon behavior. Picking in the brief, is one of those, including scratching, a gibbering or prose talk. Things that worked well for a toddler, can be used (puzzle, large picture books, old TV shows, gentle back massage), can help make a more pleasant day. These are just a few of the techniques we use at care facilities to help our residents and clients feel much happier. Hang in there, you're doing great by asking questions. Hugs sent your way!
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As far as I can see there is no more "normal" with Alzheimer's. One of my mom's nurses gave us a handout that started: Welcome to Planet Alzheimer's". I look at my mom like this: she is like an infant now. She can't walk, she can't talk (her words make no sense) and she is completely helpless. If an infant put her hands in her diaper and wiped poop everywhere it wouldn't seem abnormal. Your loved one doesn't have brain cells anymore. She is really lucky to have you to take care of her. I hope you are giving yourself lots of credit for all that you do! Please make sure that you get help as much as possible and don't let it drive you crazy.
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thank u for answering, sometimes it is difficult and keep hanging on to the one glimmer of hope, thinking i need the reality check
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Not exactly "normal," but not rare, either. I don't have any advice, but lots of sympathy. If it were my relative, they would go to a NH asap!
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