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My 85 yr. old mother has been living with my husband and me for about 6 months. Things have been going well, but some days she seems to go off on these tangents of telling stories about the past, all of which are negative. The past that I remember was full of happy times. She remembers little things like some ugly thing a neighbor said about our dog or some other non important thing. I am a very positive person and I try to remind her of the good times we had over the years, but it gets very draining when she gets in one of her negative attitudes.

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It is very hard to be around negativity.... it tends to drag you down... its hard... so this is where we hopefully have a good imagination and can either get them to share more about this situation, as in... yeah mom, that was ugly what the neighbor said about our dog.... not very nice was it... and let her know you are listening... or try redirecting her... let her have her say, then try to change the subject, maybe even start talking about dogs... it's worth a try.... is she on meds for depression and the above post about pain is very good also.... but we always have to keep in mind, no matter how hard it gets... they do not live in our world anymore for the most part... and sometimes we need to go to theirs... and when it gets to be too much if nothing helps, take some time for yourself to clear your own head... we cant be patient and loving 24/7 no matter how hard we try... we simply get tired of the whole thing.... so hope some of the suggestions help you... let us know... sending you hugs...
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She is remembering things that hurt her or made an impression on her when they happened. These are very personal for her. Be patient. For many of us, life was not just full of happy times and she might have shielded you from the bad things.
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Does your mom have any pain issues? Arthritis? Because with Dementia or Alzheimers sometimes the outbursts are results from the sensory in the brain that detects pain. But there is a disconnect with the disease which might cause them to be agitated or angry. Sometimes even downright mean. Also most of the Alzheimers and Dementia patients are dealing with some depression. The depression can reek havoc on the way they view the world. There fore what you remember is good. What she might remember is bad. Is she taking any type of meds that can help? When she is negative, ask her if she is feeling okay? or does she feel pain? Sometimes they can't vocalize the pain themselves..but might answer yes or no when you ask.
My mom has 2 arthritic knees and when she first came to my home she was having to walk a lot. She would say mean and awful things to me. Or her mood was really fowl all the time. Now she is transported every where. And she is much calmer and pleasant. She has Hospice and they are all about comfort and care. I am so grateful for their support. She is provided with medication that help her. It's all about finding the right mix...If she doesn't have pain then I guess the best thing to do then is walk away and take in some fresh air and a new perspective. Because the disease is what is making them this way. They have no control over their brains activity anymore. Good luck and God Bless.
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