I am 24/7 caregiver for my sister who has Alzheimer's. We live together in a lakesite golf cart community on Elks property in Texas. Once very social and only moderately "loopy," a recent kidney infection seriously affected her mind. She knows what she is saying, but it just doesn't come out right. Doctors have no idea why this happened. CAT Scan and MRI revealed nothing. The lodge is the social center of this mostly older community. Today she was snubbed. I actually overheard a friend tell another, "You don't want to sit there, trust me." As in, don't sit next to Sharon. I was mortified for her. This man turned his back on her. He was once one of her favorite people. Everyone went on with their happy times and we were left out. Yes, it's hard to talk to her. You can't say you don't know what she means and ask her to explain. She has no idea that she's not making any sense. There ARE ways to follow her train of thought and make her feel included! I’ve told people to smile and say hello. Follow her facial expressions and body language. If she laughs after spewing a bunch of numbers, laugh WITH her! Give her a hug and tell her you love her and go back to your own table. It’s so simple. How do you handle this forced social isolation? I don’t want to just keep her home! I’ve never felt so lonely. I’m Susan.
I think generally many people w/o caring experience are afraid of someone whose behavior may not fit the norm, and perhaps even more afraid if they don't understand it. And if they don't have that experience, don't study, don't try to interact, they compound the isolation.
I don't know if it would help to speak to these people privately and explain how cruel their behavior is, especially the "don't sit there" advice. That was really low class, tacky and unkind.
Are there any programs that address community residents, such as explaining aging conditions, changes in behavior, and how to still communicate with folks affected by these conditions? Since this is primarily an older community, if there's a HOA, this would be the ideal means to reach out to the residents.
Is there any type of educational program, through which someone could bring in a guest speaker, under the guise of general education for the elder members and their families?