How many here care for family members in their own home with Dementia or Alzheimer's and also deal with incontinence and mood swings?

I took care of my mother who had dementia for 10 yrs. in my home. Has the dementia progressed so did the mood swings, But a lot of her anger was coming from the other sibiling not calling or coming to see her. She could not understand why they were not coming around. But the last 3 yrs. the mood swings kind of stop because she did not know she had kids and has the dementia got worse so did the incontinence. When she would realize she was wet she would say one of the dogs must of wet on her because she she didn't, And all I could to was laugh and say ok mom well let get you cleaned up. And by the time she started losing control of her bowels well she did not live long after that but I would just clean her up and go on, And just try to remember it was the diease she was not trying to get me back for something I did growing up.

THANK YOU ALL for writing me, its SO nice to know that there are so many others out there. I too believe they get no better care than from a family member but sometimes the stress is hard to take, especially on weekends when we are taking care of them continuously. I cant get a thing done it seems but I also, know she would want this and who wouldnt? She gets family time and I sing her to sleep, great meals and snacks, I play her music for her, she is clean , well dressed, and so loved. The incontinence and mood swings are TOUGH to take and althou they are calming with depakote, she still cries and paces to "GO." Living with all doors chained high is hard too, cant even put away laundry without unlocking doors. My Mom also says "I'm sorry" after some mood swings, its sad that she for a slit second realizes she isnt herself. Mom only knows me sometimes and I used to think that would make her nursing home material, when that happened but I realized she needs me even MORE now, for touching love and affection that only we can give. Please keep writing all, makes me feel so un-alone. Pats on the back to all of you ((((HUGS))))

I have taken a leave of absence from work to move in with my mother and take care of her full-time. She has urinary incontinence at least 50% of the time. She is in stage 6 and often does not know who I am. I still believe she takes comfort from being with me even on the days she does not know who I am. She gets cranky at times, but I try not to react even with my facial expressions. If she sees I'm upset, then she says she's sorry which breaks my heart. I do get some respite time each week which is essential for me to deal with the stress. We're human, so try not to be too hard on yourself if you get frustrated. I hope this helps.

I am dealing with incontinence also. It really limits what we can do. Have to stay close to home. I end up going for rides just for something to do. As I am writing this she is in her recliner and I'm dreading the fact that I will have to change her and put her to bed soon. No mood swings though. Good luck to all.

My Mom has dementia and has lived with me for almost 2 years. She has good days and bad days. She has not had the crying or sadness, but she does exhibit a lot of anger. My father lives with me as well and he was an alcoholic and Mom seems to be stuck in that time of life and most of her anger is spent on him. She gets angry with me as well, but she usually forgets within a few minutes that she was even angry. She really enjoys old time country music and if I turn that on it seems to calm her.

As far as the incontinence I think it is due to Mom forgetting that she has to go. Reminding her to go through out the day seems to help cut back on the accidents. I also place a portable commode next to her bed at night.

Good luck and remember to come back here for support. This is a wonderful site with many wonderful people who know exactly what you are going through.

yes I deal the best I can with moms mood swings, and incontience. reciently, she strips, paper pull ons off at night, 3 or more times, then goes back to bed pantless, and wets all beding. won,t call for help. have a baby moniter in room, find it turned backward. her answer to every thing is no,no,no, don,t want, don,t have to. she has uti,s a lot. firstgirl

My mother lives in AL and has dementia. she was having mood swings where she would get frustrated and cry and push me away when I would try to console her. other times she would get angry at me or other relatives over nothing. she was on aricept and namenda and aricept has mood swings and anger as one of its side effects. I asked the dr if we could eliminate it and he agreed to try. she has not had an episode since. the dr's worry was her memory getting worse without the aricept. My feeling is I'd rather have more happy time than longer miserable mean person time-she is 92.

We took care of my Mom at home until she passed in Dec. 2007. What helped with incontinence was reminding her (or taking her) to the bathroom on a regular basis. You may also want to put a sign or picture on the bathroom door to make it easily recognizable to your parent (sometimes they no longer remember where the bathroom is).

Mood swings, unfortunately, are part and parcel of the disease at different stages. It can help to keep things quiet, not too much activity, noise or people in the room. Watch that they're not loading up on sugar, junk food or caffeinated beverages.

Warm hugs and best of luck.

Just moved my Mom in to my home yesterday after a week long hospital stay and 6 months in nursing care prior to that. She has advanced alzheimers and sundowners, incontinence and swallowing problems.. I was never happy with the care in the nursing home but to their credit, I can see how it is a non-stop job and they have more than one patient to care for. I'm feeling blessed to be able to do this for my mom and I know she would be doing it for me if the tables were reversed, but it is difficult for sure and makes for a very full day. You absolutely do have to have help if at all possible. God Bless all you Angels out there caring for someone in need!!

We do. And, believe me, it's difficult. To deal with my father-in-law's incontinence, we have him wear a pad (refuses Depends), put a covered cushion on the seat of his recliner, and have put a towel on the bathroom floor. There is still a lot of 'clean-up'...but these few things cut the clean-up in half!

Inasmuch as I was POA over my Mom---I had her at home as long as possible, and then she went on to AL and then NH care. I would suggest you become acquainted with the possible stages ofv this disease-by reading, with support groups, and also you can contact the Alz Assoc 24/7 HOTLINE @ (800) 272-3900. Although there is no cure at the present time...Knowlededge is the next best thing you can have to understand the possibilites of what may occur. Also, there is much about this online as well, in addition to this great forum.
Best to you on your caregiving journey-and do get back to us with more questions as they might arise,
Hap

We live with my mother who has dementia to some degree. I think the degree is increasing. She does not have incontinence, but does have the mood swings. Actually, she is very rude and irritable to me.

She does go through sundowning in the evenings. She has a thing about needing lots of lights on because her eye sight isn't good, locking down the house when supper is over, and asking over and over what time is it and are we ready to go to bed.

Here lately, we have had cloudy rainy days and when she wakes up from her nap, she is totally confused about the time of day it is. She thinks it is morning and when are we going to eat breakfast. She is confused all the way up until her bedtime, which is getting earlier, too. When I tell her we already ate breakfast and lunch, she is bewildered. I made chicken and rice last night for supper and she said at the dinner table that she had never had chicken and rice for breakkfast before. So, confused.

I could go on and on, but better stop. That was a very good question you asked. Take care.

My Mom has PPA (primary progressive aphasia) not Alzheimer's. I have been dealing with both of these issues. The mood swings seem to be becoming more frequent and I am starting to worry how to deal with them. She tends to get very sad and tearful and nothing I do seems to make her feel better, then a little while later she is fine and sometimes even happy. The incontinence seems to be more about her not realizing she needs to go to the bathroom and moving too slowly, rather than an actual muscle problem. This too comes and goes, some days she will have 4 accidents in one day and then she won't have any problems for weeks.

I'm not yet dealing with incontinence, but mood swings are common. My wife exhibits what's called the sundowner effect . . . greater agitation in the evening. Since I'm the only care giver in the home at that time I'm the only one able to receive complaints. It's never pleasant but I've got used to it now and realize it's just another aspect of dementia. Not sure how I'm going to cope with incontinence, because I have physical limitations. I'll need help of some sort.

My mom has dementia and has been living with me now for almost 2 years. So far no incontinence but she can have mood swings. She will usally get very sad and cry at times, all I can do is try to take her out so she forgets she is upset. All and all compared to alot people on this site my Mom has been an angel.