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Lately my husband has started a bad habit of spitting in the street frequently. This drives me crazy as I see it as a nasty thing to do. I asked him not to do it but he still does. Recently I was in home depot with him and he spit on the floor. I immediately told him to stop it and if he continues I will not take him out with me anymore. His reply was everyone does it. My question is do you think he understands what I am saying and how do I deal with this nasty habit.

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My MIL has been spitting in her kitchen sink forever.She has terrible mucus and nasal drainage. Now that she is living with us she was told that she was never to spit in my kitchen sink. Well it happened and I caught her. She sees no problem with it. She also sits on the toilet and spits between her legs and in the tub on her bath chair. She thinks they are perfect places to spit. She even has toilet paper in her hand while sitting on the toilet and can't use it to spit into. I keep trying to tell her and this is the one thing I won't tolerate or give up on. Yuk!
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That's part of why it called Alehemier's they revert back to childhood and it could be like taking care of a baby but seeing an adult don''t forget you can't see them as normal. Learn to live with it and don't allow it to bother you and say to yourself that at time normal and then all of a sudden childhood.
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Well done Jan you have set a good example for everyone to follow.
back to sheila's problem. Do you think he would wear a mask if you have to take him into stores. You could explain it is to prevent him catching colds and flu etc. even wear one yourself if it helps. these days no one will think it is strange and it might just work.
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I hear you!! My mom has decided that spitting in the kitchen sink is ok....yuk! I have spoken to her and explained why it is inappropriate...she denies she does it..dealing one of her many new habits, not flushing, refusing to bathe,leaving used tissues on tables and coach, the list goes on..I have realized that lecturing and scolding and pleading is useless...so now I have devised methods to limit her bad habits as much as possible for peace in my life..I made a special small can with large print that says for mom's tissues and things to throw away near where she sits...works pretty good! I have purchased board which I covered with contact to blend in with my kitchen decor...to place over my double sink....If she does not see sink she does not spit in it. In conclusion you must devise ways to limit their new habits. In your dad's case That habit is impossible to control so if possible do not take him with you when going to places like home depot...it is only way to avoid that unfortunately! I have learned it is best to avoid situations that are triggers for them....Good luck! Jan from Utah
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Ferris, I believe a lot has to do with the local custom of where one lived. I remember teenage boys standing on the street corner spitting back in the 1950's and 1960's. I think they thought they were acting *older* by doing that, not realizing the spitting was thought as disgusting by most of the teenage girls.
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I go back six decades, and it was NEVER done as a teenager.
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With the flu season upon us, the general public is going to be more afraid to be around someone who is spitting. It's a tough call on what to do.... keep him home until after the flu season, or to bring him along so that he isn't stuck in home? If he doesn't understand it's not proper to spit on the floor in a store, how would one get him to use a Kleenex?

Curious if your hubby ever mentioned he use to spit at a teenager... I think it was the norm back many decades ago. Of course, one still sees baseball players spitting all the time.

It's the regurgitation sound that I so hate to hear.... once in a while my sig other will make those noises if he has issues with his sinuses. Interesting that women also have sinuses issues but don't do that at all. Guess these guys learned that habit from their dad or granddad, and from their peers.
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People lose their inhibitions as dementia progresses and they do things they normally wouldn't do. I don't know how functional your husband is as far as understanding . I agree with a hankie whey you are out. He may not understand anymore that this behavior is not socially acceptable. Contact your local chapter of the Alzheimer's Association, they can help you with managing behaviors.
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My granddad developed this exact habit as he developed dementia. Grandma also kept a paper bag lined trash can in one spot that was "his" and even brought it to our home sometimes. Somehow, having a "right place" to spit, made it all ok. (BTW, he was the ultimate gentleman and never, ever spit in a lady's presence, before the dementia. It took some time, but he did get to where he would ONLY spit in this one trash can.
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Get him a handkerchief. Habits that a person normally would not have considered when they did not have dementia might appear because they do not have the reasoning ability to understand why it is "bad". Just recognize this and when another habit appears, just chalk it up to the disease. He is right about the fact others in our society without dementia are spitting on the sidewalk without regard for how truly disgusting, unhealthy (for other stepping in it), and improper spitting is. I don't know when this habit started with mostly men, but I too wish they would stop.
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I think this is a sign that his social filters are going if he did not have this habit when he was well. Unfortunately many men have this disgusting habit so now it doesn't seem wrong to hubby. before you enter a store give him a tissue and invite him to spit anything he has to get rid of into that or as you auggested don't take him into any stores. If he does spit on a floor drop a couple of tissues over it and push them to one side. You can go further and alert a store clerk so they can call for clean up. if this embaresses you just explain that hubby is sick and very confused.
I realize this is very difficult for you but there are far worse things he could do and he won't get arrested for this one.
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Have him carry some tissues to spit into, it might be easier than carrying a cup. He can stash them in his pocket and also keep some handy yourself if you see him about to do that perhaps you could say wait, let me get you a tissue.
If he was a child, I would make him clean it up, but as an adult with dementia, training doesn't work. He would not remember and probably would not comply.
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His reply that everyone spits tells me that he's not rational and won't respond to your very rational and reasonable request that he not spit. Get him a cup to spit into it. You won't be able to reason with him on this, all you can do is try to manage it.
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