What do you say when the Alzheimer's family member says, no one cares about me...I might as well die?

"Oh, LovedOne, I'm so sorry you are feeling that way today. I guess everybody feels like that sometimes. It hurts, doesn't it? Even little kids think nobody loves them sometimes. There is even a little song. 'Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, Guess I'll go eat worms. Long, thin, slimy ones; Short, fat, juicy ones, Itsy, bitsy, fuzzy wuzzy worms.' It is a funny song and that helps me cheer up sometimes. I hope you are feeling more cheery tomorrow. I love you very much, and I know that Bill does, and Carla, and Joey. Lots of people like you, but it can still feel bad some days."

Send cards to your loved one. Include simple messages. Cards last longer than a telephone call and it can be displayed and touched. Buy cards in bulk from the clearance section. My thrift shop sells cards in ziplock bags for $0.50 and there are 20 or so cards in each. Maybe put one in the mail every day or two.

Something we can run across with Alzheimer's when someone is in a facility is they want to go home. Since no one will take them home, then they don't care about them. We know this isn't the case. What it is is the despair they feel. They miss the way their life once was and want to get back to that security. It is heartbreaking. There are no good answers to this. I guess we could say that they can go home when they are feeling better, but right now they need to be in a place where people can care for them. That is deceitful, I know, but telling them they will never go home seems cruel to me.

VictoriaM1,
Are you asking about the words from the person who actually has Alzheimers? If so, then I would always take it that they are afraid, confused and in need of support. Their memory is failing, so they have forgotten what loving things you did just the day before.

While they may forget words, I'd supplement my reassuring words with things like a nice cozy sweater or throw, favorite lotion, favorite treats, favorite songs, photos, and lots of hugs. Regular phone calls may also help , if they reside in a facility. I try to understand that it's only the moment we are in that she may have peace and reassurance. I hope that the staff at the facility reminds her that she is loved and cared for. I think they do.

I placed a plaque in my LO's room in MC when she first entered. Even with her memory issues, I wanted her to know how I felt. It says, "Always Remember You Are Loved." I don't think she reads it anymore, though.  

Great answer Jessie Belle!!!!

It depends on the circumstance and who is saying it. Some people are saying they feel sorry for themselves and want others to feel sorry for them, too. Other people are saying they feel hopeless and need some reassurance. Other people are trying to induce guilt in the people around them. We have to measure the words with our knowledge about who is saying them and why.

This is so difficult. I have experienced it myself. I just try and distract my mom or redirect her to something else. If she continues to say it, I ask her to please not say it as it upsets me to hear it. Very hard.