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Mom is now about at mid-stage dementia and declining. We got her a Life Alert system once she was diagnosed.


I stop in several times a week and usually find her pendant sitting in the kitchen. I have her put it on and she always replies, “I just forgot, I’ll keep it on from now on.” She always asks how to use it and I’ll tell her every time how to activate it if she falls or feels unsafe.


Is there a particular system that would be more appropriate for her?

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Yes, there's a better system than the LifeAlert. It's called move her into assisted living where she's never alone. The other better system is called hire live-in caregivers so she can remain in her home if possible.

If your mother's dementia is at the point where she can't remember how to press the button on a LifeAlert pendant and call for help, she CANNOT live alone anymore.

I am still shocked when see posts like this. I shouldn't be having been an in-home caregiver for 25 years and now in the business of it. Yet, I still am.

Think of your mother in terms of a kindergarten age child. Would you leave a child living alone in a house as long as you stopped by several times a week? No, of course not.
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Reply to BurntCaregiver
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Sounds like Mom should not be living alone and needs 24/7 supervision in assisted living .
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Reply to waytomisery
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If your mother has dementia, she should not be living alone. Period. Figure out what needs to happen now.
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Reply to Hothouseflower
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Your mom should not be living alone period. She needs 24 hour monitoring. If a fire happens, your mom could die in her house because she cannot use her correct judgement anymore. We were all in denial and that is why we are contributing to this forum.
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Reply to Onlychild2024
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Thank you Burnt caregiver for the honest response. My sibling had POA & left my mom who had dementia living in her home for almost 2 years & wouldn’t listen to me. I called APS numerous times but they didn’t do anything until I told them if there was a fire she couldn’t get out on her own.

Some people are just in denial
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Reply to Jada824
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BurntCaregiver May 23, 2025
@Jada

Unfortunately what you're saying is true. Many people are in denial about elderly family living on their own. I've called APS many times. Sure, you may anger the person you're calling on. You may get the wrath of family who don't want to place a LO. No one said doing the right thing was easy or fun. It's usually not either.
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Dementia only goes one way - downhill. It’s time to seriously investigate memory care facilities in your area and plans to move her to one. If you have POA for her, speak with her PCP re options for your mother. Until she moves to a care facility, cameras setup in her house might be helpful. The life alert system may work ok for those in the very beginning stage of dementia but not beyond.
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Reply to peace416
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Mom shouldn't be living alone. She will never remember it or if she does, she won't know what it's for or how to operate it.

Do not take her into your home and do not move into hers. A live-in caregiver is something you might want to consider, but that won't keep mom safe because the CG has to sleep sometimes. You'd need a team, probably three. Then relief caregivers. And you'd have to manage it.

The system you are looking for exists in a memory care facility. My husband is in one. He went there when I could no longer keep him safe at home. You may think that time is a long way away, but it isn't. Start looking at facilities now, and good luck in finding the right one for your mom.
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Reply to Fawnby
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My parents always took theirs off even before dementia. Even though it was waterproof, they thought they couldn’t wear it in the shower either. I think some systems have a bracelet that they can wear as well. I didn’t find anything to replace it. That’s when the caregivers started to go more often and I installed WebCams.
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Reply to Arkh64
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A life alert device is not nearly enough support for your mother. She needs to be in a facility or have in-home care, probably 24/7.
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Reply to RedVanAnnie
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jules925 May 23, 2025
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You can set up cameras in the home so you can keep an eye on her. I set up the SimpliSafe system in her house with cameras in every room so I can keep an eye on her when I'm not there. And if any door opens, I get an immediate ding on my phone. She won't keep any pendant (like Life Alert) on, so this was a good option for us.
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