My husband has always been controlling and verbally abusive, but now in his Alzheimer's state it has escalated. Tonight I thought I was having a heart attack I was in such a state of stress. . .but, being thru this before, I knew it was a panic attack - removed myself from the room, calmed down and didn't return to where my husband was. When my husband was in the hospital for two months it was the best two months of my life and I secretly prayed that he would be in the hospital for another two months. My house was in order, I ate healthy food, I slept like a baby. Now, that I had a taste of "life", I want that again, but cannot leave him with Alzheimer's. I am finding ways of getting out of the house more often. . .doing things for myself. . .but find the night time is trying because I have to be at home with him. I isolate myself from him as much as I can. . . Is anyone else feeling like me? Oh, by the way. . .he will not use his sleep apnea machine or his hearing aids no matter what I have tried. . .and the doctors blame me for him not using his equipment! One psychiatrist told me that he cannot help him. . .he pitied me and told me I was going to die before my husband! The other physician blamed me for not taking control over my husband using his sleep apnea machine and his hearing aid! Really? Anyone in this position, too? My husband has dementia - he is not an invalid. Sometimes I think he knows what he is doing. . .because he has acted superior and in charge his whole life. His favorite line for himself was "if I can make a bad situation worse, I will". . .and "if it doesn't bother me, then why should it bother anyone else". . . See what I am up against!