Mom has Alzheimer's and CHF w/atrial fib. She was diagnosed a couple months ago with AD and it seems to progress quickly with her but I now realize (hindsight) she was doing a good job of covering it up and I wasn't recognizing her horrendous moods as part of the process. Six years ago she was sundowning (hearing music that wasn't there and blaming her neighbor).
Yesterday she asked me if she's crazy, that she sees or thinks Dad (now deceased) is coming to her bedroom in the ALF at night and sleeping in the bureau. She asked me if it's possible. I didn't know what to say and told her I thought the medication was causing her to have dreams that seem real. She said she didn't think he could really be in there cause he's been in the ground for 25 years (actually 21 yrs.). She doesn't comprehend time though can read the digital clock. Mixes up day and night. Orders me around; demands things like a child. Insists I am dating a guy that works at the ALF. No matter how much I insist it is not true, she won't stop referring to him. It drives me nuts. I correct her and it doesn't matter.
Yesterday I caught her cutting out a section of the "Depends" that was wet, keeping the band around her waist, and pinning a new pad to the waist band. She has about 10 packages of 24 pull ups in her closet. No matter what I said, she wouldn't stop pinning this up.
I go there every day as they have made some mistakes, but maybe I am going too much. I'm afraid she won't go to the dining room for her meals if I don't get over there. The other day I found her on the floor. I thought the worst, but she had just fallen out of the chair. She is on hospice supportive care so they visit daily M-F in addition to the ALF that checks her every 2 hours and give her her medications. That's a huge help and that is because of her diagnosis of congestive heart failure.that Hospice is helping.
They just delivered a Lift Chair so she won't fall and mom is insisting It is my Christmas gift from her and now she doesn't have to buy me anything (haha). She wants me to take it home and argues about it.
I'm able to laugh a lot at some of these things, but when I get down, like today, it isn't so funny. I feel the laughter keeps me from losing it as I am the only family member helping her. Most others aren't talking to her. I'm disgusted with family for disappearing. My attitude about certain people is becoming negative.
Sometimes like today where I can't seem to evade reality with some laughter, the sadness of the disease just slaps me hard across the face. It is soooo sad. I realize Mom is actually gone and the reality it hits me hard. She was always very difficult anyway, but I knew she loved me. This person that she is doesn't seem to have any love or compassion and days like today are just so hard to take. My anger becomes displaced and I just feel mad at the world. I'm not a crier, but I'm crying a lot last night and today.
Last night I went to a grief counseling seminar and that's when it hit me that I am grieving the loss of my mother though physically she is still here. It is a daily grieving.
Thanks for letting me vent and if anybody can explain what stage mom seems to be in, I would appreciate your wisdom.
Also, what connection, if any, does congestive heart failure (and/or Atrial Fib) have with AD?
Thank you much.