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My brother is joint POA though I've managed everything for 2 years. He's begun to act paranoid, is making a lot of phonecalls to lawyers, Drs. and caregivers upsetting the apple cart I've painstakingly held together.


Mom, bro, and I asked for a trust to be set up, I'm the trustee once Mom is determined to be 'disabled (or deceased)'.


Mom and went and signed the trust paperwork.


I immediately asked her Dr. for a letter stating her 'disability' so I can assume control and limit my brother's access to money and belongings.


So, she signed the trust, and the next day her Dr writes a letter that she has a diagnosis of 'probably Alzheimer's' and is unable to manage her own finances.


Is the timing problematic? If my brother wants to say how could she be ok to sign the paperwork and the next day she can't maintain her money??


thank you!!!!!

Er. It wasn't your brother who upset the applecart, was it? It was you.

"He's begun to act paranoid." Well. You made major changes to how your mother's business is to be managed, you have acted to restrict his involvement, and it can't be a shock that he is asking a lot of questions.

Have you tried answering his questions? I think it's important to acknowledge one thing, which is that if you can suspect him of trying to get his sticky mitts on your mother's assets, he can suspect you of exactly the same thing. Why should he happy to take on trust any more than you would be?

When you refer to the assumption of "control to limit your brother's access to money and belongings," had this in fact been a problem?
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Isthisrealyreal Oct 24, 2018
Based on the response I would have to agree with you CM.

I don't understand taking over someone's life and money if they are only disabled and how could a dr says she's not capable of handling her own money if she can still understand a legal document such as a trust.

Obviously some information is missing to really be able to help.

Sorry you took offense but you asked onomasium. You know what your intentions are and where the whole situation stands, hope it all works out for your mom.
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thanks all!!
Our trust says that if she becomes 'disabled' or dies - so you're not correct there. she has not been legally determined 'incompetent' - if you read about it, people with alzheimers can sign things - there are varying degrees of ability/disability.
Mom;s lawyer thinks that the timing could be questioned, but thAT it would likely be fine because you can be BOTH 'disabled' AND understand what youre signing.
Also POA states the POA may pay themselves if needed.
also very unlikely my bro would get organized to do anything all the way...
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Timing is not good - she is competent one day and then a few hours later a doctor says she cannot manage her own affairs. Would make me suspicious.  If you think she was/is competent, why not simply revoke the joint POA and make a new one with you as POA alone?  At any rate, finances should be absolutely transparent and squeaky clean. Not even an appearance of impropriety.  Transparency - anybody can look and see what is going on - is a great reassurance in these situations. Because even if perfectly above board, lack of transparency creates suspicions.
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Could he be having some personal challenges that you are unaware of and that is what's behind the odd behavior?

POA can not make work to get paid for, is there anyone that would be getting an accounting of moms money? When anyone accepts the responsibility of being an agent for an incapacitated or vulnerable person they should treat money as though the IRS is standing at their elbow. Remember, anything over 600.00 annually needs to be reported on a 1099 misc as income.

Did the attorney know that your mom is incompetent? I think that the timing is bothersome to me. The more I think about it the less I think of it, sorry.

You should keep really good records, all income and disbursements with notes, receipts and any other documentation. What exactly you were doing to get paid with mileage records etc. This will ensure that if he contests the validity of the trust that you can prove you were protecting mom and being responsible with her money. This will protect you from accusations of impropriety.

This is what happens when siblings or joint POAs have trust issues one with another. You need to CYA, lawsuits are costly and only the attorneys win in the end.

I hope you and your brother can work together for the benefit of your mom.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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I agree, how can Mom sign documents and then a Dr. say within hours she is incompetent. I feel she was incompetent when you had her sign the trust. Your brother has a right to question it.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Yes, timing could be problematic.

Did an attorney do the trust and witness your mom signing?

If yes, you are less likely to have a big problem however, incompetence or duress when signing legal paperwork are the 2 things that can create a legal contest.

He isn't entitled to any of her money as long as she is alive, actually even when she dies, unless it is her wish. Inheritance is a gift not a birth right.

PoA and Trust are not the same and one doesn't void the other.

If he is trying to take money you can contact APS for elder abuse.

I hope that your mom's money is spent for her care and not used as anyone else's personal savings account.
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onomasium Oct 23, 2018
thank you so much!
yes, an attorney and witness were with her for the signing. As soon as it was executed, i got that dr letter in the hopes of activating my trusteeship and he would lose access to her finances.
part of the poa is that poa's can pay themselves for time/expenses related to management of her finances.
he hasn't taken any money but is acting really paranoid and behind the scenes shady.
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