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I have told my mom that I am going on vacation for over a month to prepare her that I will not see her one day from my usual schedule of seeing her. When I mentioned it to her the first time she was ok with it. Now that it's coming up this coming week she is getting all nervous and anxious.

I have written a note to the caregivers taking care of her for them to read to her from me. I also plan on calling her every evening as I do now. I have told her to let the caregivers help her change her socks daily and that she needs to keep participating in the scheduled activities. My bro and sis said they will each see her an extra day than they usually do. I wrote the days I will be gone on the note and asked the workers to cross off the days until I come back and show her how many days left until I return. On the day I come back, I circled it and printed it in red stating I'm visiting you tomorrow morning. I know they will read it to her and that she will enjoy the phone calls. Is there anything I am missing that I can do to make it as easy as possible for her? She really depends on me a lot as I'm the only child that really visits and spends time with her. I will give her, her shower on Tues. and visit Wed. then I'm off for five days. I will be back on the sixth day to visit her, as usual.

Any suggestions?????? Blessings

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I enjoy every moment I see, talk or think about her. I, too, wish everyone of you could experience the true love we have between us. Thank you ALL for the well wishes. Blessings
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I am so glad everything went well. You deserved and needed this.
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You and your mother's relationship is so beautiful. I envy you. Wish it could be that way with my Mom, but not all mother's come from the same mold. Enjoy the time you have with her.
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So glad it worked out well. It's great how you love each other.
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Back from vacation and all went pretty well. My mama was upset some days but it always ended in a positive note when I called her/she called me. I also wrote her a little note for each day I was gone. I arrived home last night and saw her this morning. We both had tears of happiness to see one another. I bought her a couple little presents and she and my sister made me a little present. My mama was so excited to give it to me today. Ahhhhhhhh! Things are back to normal. Peace is in my heart. Blessings to all.
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Relax and enjoy. She may be thinking you would not return, that would be not be egotistical to think on your part, you are a very significant part of her life.
Nonetheless you need your me time. Offer to bring her something typical from we're you are going, so it reminds her you are in fact returning.
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Thank you and I appreciate the suggestions. Eyerishlass, I hadn't thought about the every day note! I figured if I'd call her, she would rather hear my voice. I think I will try a little note. I know she is really afraid that I won't come back. Maybe it's egotistical thinking that way but that's what I think.

Jinx, funny you should say about getting her a "treat." I bought her a little refrigerator a couple weeks ago. I have it filled with comfort foods for her. Things she likes that she doesn't get at the facility. My sibs think I'm nuts but I don't care. I don't ask them for money to pay for it so I should be able to make her happy with what she likes. We went out Sat. to get her some special foods.
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Good for you for taking a vacation! I hope you have a wonderful, relaxing time.

It sounds as if you've thought of everything. You have a calendar showing the days you'll be gone and also a countdown of when you'll be back. Maybe write a little note on each day, something personal that she won't read until your gone. Like on Day 1 you could write, "I'll miss you!" Day 2 you could insert a little joke for the caregiver to read to her. Day 3 you could write something encouraging like, "This isn't so bad, is it?" and on and on.....Let these little personal notes be a surprise to her and she'll look forward to them each day.

Again, I'm so glad you're taking a vacation!!
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She is afraid she won't be all right. Can she get an increase in her medication? Perhaps a tiny dose of Ativan?

Is there any kind of treat you can offer her to "make up for" your absence? Try to talk less about being gone, and more about coming home. She will probably be fine once you are actually gone and she is still alive. It's just anticipation.

HAVE A GOOD VACATION! It won't help her at all if you spend the time worrying about her, and come home more stressed than when you left. If you start to worry, just say, I'm only allowed to worry between 7 PM and 7:30 - the half hour before you call her.

Bless you for the good daughter that you are.
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