Pam S. you are awesome. I need your assistance.
I am # 2 in line on the health care doc. & all 3 of us are the POA's (NIGHTMARE ON SMITH STREET)
Regardless, as you know from previous , I am the youngest. 10 yrs. 55, 65, 67.
Parents 88 mother Alzheimer last stage father 88 (LIVING WITH SISTER) PPA primary
My middle sister #1. power of attorney line, will NOT TALK TO ME. NOT A WORD, EVER.
NOT EVEN AN emergency call RE: health of my father.
SHE CALLS OTHER SIS. PREVIOUSLY. SHE WILL CALL WHOMEVER. THEY HAVE BLOCKED ME FROM ALL HEALTH CARE DOCTORS. ANY DOCUMENT IS NOT VALID THEY STATE. THEY ARE ALL VALID
Sister #2, father lives with. I PICK UP father 3 times a week, & I drop off 5-6 hours later at her house, he is blind 95% & I take him to dinner /then to put my mother to bed at AL FACILITY. He is ALONE during the DAY, & is there to fend for himself. I AM OUTRAGED, I have offered to have him come over & I would stay home for NOTHING & LIVE OFF OF WHAT I HAVE. I HAVE FORTUNATELY JUST PAID MY HOUSE OFF. WHAT ABOU
THEY BOTH SAID "NO NO NO"
WHY? Because that would leave them without the person that holds all the money , or that is my position, as sister number two has received $2500 per month, and grocery money and two cars & a new roof for father living there, as with PPA he has lost his ability to understand money. Former President and CEO of engineering firm. Who knows $$ about
We have (my father and I) dinner every Wednesday pm and then we go to my mothers assisted living and he puts her to bed. (last stage) down to 90 pds.
Before she was very angry, and that stage she was beating on him. I had the police intervene, and they took her and she is placed in a wonderful place.
My father did one thing write, he saved money and purchased just by the luck of the draw the right kind of life insurance that pays 100% for this assisted living home. He had to spend $10,000 on an attorney because back in the day it was "Nursing Home Insurance" the work "Assisted Living" barely or did not exist.
Daughter number 3. ME, is the last one, and now the one that is left out, because now, as of last wednesday when I merely asked, because I wanted to help out because that is just the kind of person I am, I want to see both parents. I said, "what is the other sister's participation in seeing father & mother, i.e. specifically what days "SO THAT I DO NOT CONFLICT WITH THE DAYS AS I AM NEEDING TO CHANGE WEDNESDAY TO THURSDAY. she said "THAT IS IT, I DRAW THE LINE THERE" then she went on to say that my father had been in the hospital on the days that I had not seen him Friday to Monday, no one called me, and they told the hospital I had abandoned him. I see him Tues Wed & Fri Morning.
Every 3rd weekend, I take him 1 hour away to his very nice waterfront home.
I am the ONLY one that takes him there, because as he says the other two will not let me out of the house, "and that is the truth", I know what they mean, of course if he wants to go for a walk, go with him. He found a lady FRIEND, ;MIND YOU HE IS HAPPILY MARRIED TO A WOMAN THAT DOES NOT KNOW HIS NAME. This woman and I met, and she offers to walk him. I said yes after knowing her for 3 months, and knowing that she was not after him signing anything, and I CAN SEE THEM THE ENTIRE TIME. My sisters have had fits about this 15 minute once every three weeks situation. ONE WALK.
Therefore, the one 1st in line for health care said "I took father to the doctors and I did not invite you or "L" Number 1" that is right, you guys put up with this, and I said, S' (number 2) if this is too much, please have him come life with my husband and I, she said, no way, and I said why, & she said, then I will not be able to CONTROL HIS ACTIONS. Really? a blind man with PPA, that knows he is going to die any day now, or month, see's his wife religiously except for three days a month, when he goes to visit his home he built in 1977 and is a beautiful piece of property and he can walk around it, and hear the water. Really, that is so bad, and you will not allow me into any health care appointments.
I HAVE 99% GUT FEELINGS sisters, have advantage $$$$ of MOM AND DAD, they have EVERY FINANCIAL THING TO HIS NAME., and HE HAS SAID TO THEM IN WRITING, PLEASE GIVE ACCESS TO NUMBER 3 OF ALL MY FINANCIAL INFORMATION AND ANYTHING YOU HAVE DONE IN THE PAST FOUR YEARS. THEY IGNORE HIM, COGNITIVE 75%/NON 25%
THEY SAY, DO NOT ASK HIM ?
SERIOUSLY WHAT TO DO.?
I HAVE ABOUT $10k for
I am not new to caregiving,
I am not new to being told "there is not enough room for you & your husband at any family functions", and the truth is starting to emerge.
I was the baby, and I was born with Exzcema and my mother and father wanted me not to be teased, so they did give me a lot. But in hindsight, I am the only daughter that has financially given back to them. I pay for everything when I am with them now. My sisters write a check from my fathers checking account.
Says one sister when she was talking, & says my father, but I cannot trust my father 100%
WHAT TO do I DO.