My mother who isn't necessarily an alcoholic but has a alcohol use disorder. She can turn it off at any time and not drink for weeks at a time. She's been living in her own apartment now for a month and began going to a therapist and finally taking care of her mental health. But for the last week she has been drinking daily. This leads to her making bad financial decisions. One day she bought a brand new TV and did not need one. Now she wants me to have food DoorDashed to her because she would rather drink than go to the store. I feel like if I do this all I am doing is enabling her. But I also don't want her to be hungry. I know she has food, and plenty of it, because she goes to the store almost daily. But she is the person that will say jump and expect you to ask how high. I don't give in to that crap and she knows it! What would you do?
As said, if she wants food delivery, thats on her. Do not enable her or disable her. If she can do for herself, then don't do it. So tell her, "No Mom, I am not ordering food for you. You have plenty in your apt. You want food delivery, then you call the restaurants." I would also tell her she needs to watch her spending. You will not be supporting her.
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My ex was a weekend drinker. Didn't have it in the house and didn't drink when he had to work the next day but he went out every weekend and got drunk. That is considered being an alcoholic. When he retired, he had a case delivered almost everyday. He just sat in his chair, watched TV and drank. He died at 69 from heart failure.
Set those boundaries.
If mom’s habitually drunk, she should not be driving around. It’s a reasonable alternative considering mom has to be fed.
This is a downward spiral, and it won’t get better. She’s chosen how she wants to live and die. I’m sorry you’re caught up in it,
I had to back way off of dealing with alcoholic Dad when he passed out in the country club parking lot at 1:00 pm. A golfer called 911.
I backed way off of my interactions with him. It was time to take care of me.
I have been a member for forty + years.
If she wants Doordash, tell her to download the app on her phone.
Alcohol Use Disorder? No, it's alcoholism.
And if you know that she has plenty of food because she goes to the store daily, ordering Door Dash seems a bit ridiculous, and would be enabling her to continue drinking.
If she gets hungry enough she will figure something out.
But in the meantime, get yourself to some Al-Anon meetings were you will learn how NOT to enable the alcoholic, and learn how to say NO.
I agree that trying out some Al-Anon meetings is a good idea. You may find them helpful. If not, you don't need to continue, but you'll know where to go if her drinking continues to escalate.
I agree with others who suggest to play dumb about Door Dash. Is she made of money? It's not cheap. Is she able to cook for herself? Maybe consider InstaCart home grcery delivery instead?
She's sounds bored. She needs some other activity besides drinking.
If your mother lives on her own and takes care of her own delivery and food needs then there isn't any way you can control that. If she lives with you then you can attempt to keep alcohol out of your home, but do know that an alcoholic will get the alcohol somehow, where in hair spray or listerine. There is no controlling the alcohol problems of another.
As to the thinking that some people are only problems drinkers? Yup, when they drink it's a problem.
I am sorry, but the best you can do is keep yourself educated and protected.