Alcoholic Mom. Any advice?

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I need some advise. I'm afraid I will probably be burying my mother in the next six months if I don't do something.... I'm just not sure where to start. Growing up as a child my mother never touched a drink, in fact she was completely against it as my stepfather drank enough for both of them. In 2002 my grandmother passed away and my mother took it really hard. She still hasn't gotton over it. She began to have a drink but only every now and then as she worked full time. It was moderate back then and controlled. Fast forward to 2011, my stepfather was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer and let's just say that now her drinking is way out of control. The doctor gave him 5 years from the time of diagnoses. He is still living and my mother has been taking care of him, if you can call it that. Her work schedule is 2 days on 2 days off and now it's getting to the point where there's not many days on. The days she is suppose to be working she has a caregiver looking after my stepdad and the days she's off she is suppose to be caring for him. My mom is 59 years old with high blood pressure and high cholesterol. Her father died at 56 with a stroke. To put it in perspective, in the last 3 days she has polished off two bottles of wine and a 40 ouncer. She is swallowing downers on top of it. She's not in the state of mind to care for anyone, not even herself and of you seen her appearance she totally looks the part of a drunk. She is not showing up for work because she is two hungover and the caregiver won't report her cause she's to nice. I feel stuck in the middle of it. I'm afraid if I don't do something I will be burrying her before my stepdad. Can someone give me some advice?

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I'm a softy, I know...it just seems mom is drowning and yes, she needs help. If I wasn't so d*mn stubborn I would be drowning as well. I'm just not a quitter and it sounds like your mom has quit.

As vstefans asked, who can take care of step day while mom get's the help she needs? An intervention sounds like an awesome plan!

I do hope you find a solution that your mom will adhere to. It can't be easy on you and your family watching that house of cards begin to fall. Do what you can to protect yourself, step dad and try to find some help for your mother. Seems like they both are dying now :(
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No, he's completely bed ridden and there's not a lot of family. I think they both need professional help. I know he would be better cared for in a facility but I am hating to be the one to make the call; however, I feel that if I don't I'm gonna watch her kill herself. Its easy to turn a blind eye but she's my mom. I feel like I need to do something.
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Go to Al-Anon yourself. And you can consider printing out this page and giving it to her in the context of a family intervention. It is a house of cards waiting to fall. They won;t tolerate her at work too much longer - pity only goes so far when bills need to be paid and payroll met.

Is there someone to take care of stepdad while she takes care of herself?
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It is good that you don't live with them and particularly so since you have little children. You've reached out to her and she has refused your help. It does not sound like there is much left to do but take care of yourself and your boys while contacting someone like adult protective services to look into and hopefully take care of this matter.
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I don't live with them, thank goodness. I do however have two little boys who love their grandmother so much but never get to see her because of her state. I've talked to her till I'm blue in the face. She refuses to seek help and thinks councilers are a joke. She definitely lacks coping skills and is self medicating for sure. I use to talk to her every single night before bed for hours. We use to be really close. I hardly call anymore and I know if she doesn't call me she is most likely drunk and don't want me to know.
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Yes, it does sound like she's self medicating and lacking coping skills. The death of her mother and now impending death of her husband must be very difficult on her. Some people just DO NOT handle these situations very well, especially with no support system in place.

I personally would not call APS (just yet) are you being supportive at all? Helping her out with step-dad? Talking to her about the future? Telling her you'll be there to give her some help if she needs it? She might need a grief counselor to get her emotions out about her mother and now husband. So many things can be done before calling APS, if you want to help.
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a drunk pill popper . will her hand fit into a regular quart mason jar ? could be the woman of my dreams if so . american bald eagle is so hard to scrub out of the bottom of quart jars . spotted owl even worse .
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Sounds like your mother is self-medicating depression or something with alcohol. She needs some very serious professional help.

Do you still live with your parents? For your own sanity, I hope not.

I think that you can get some help from adult protective services. Tell them about your step-dad's need for care and your mother's drunken state which keeps her from giving him the care that he needs.
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