My father is 88, alcoholic, frail, congestive heart and dementia due to alcoholism. For almost 10 days now he has not eaten, only drinking whisky, which we water down, but it's still 500mls + per day. He gets very angry if he doesnt have it. I don't live with him, too many bad childhood memories, but he does have 2 part-time carers, we have a live-in-carer moving in this Saturday. I know that he's not going to last long on the alcohol alone and has already shown symptoms of the end stages of alcoholism. I've spoken with his doc who said the only thing to do would be to declare him mentally incompetent and have him institutionalized. I know this alone would kill my dad and they'd have to sedate him to remove him from the house. Do I just accept that he does NOT want to be taken from his home and let nature take it's course? We've gone through librium etc....but then he's right back on the whisky. Bottom line is he doesnt want to stop drinking and goes through severe withdrawls if he's without it for too long. He'll start drinking first thing in the morning, keep going, then wake up in the night for more. Part of me says that I should explain, in a kind way, what is going to happen to him if he doesn't get help. I'm very vulnerable at this time, but feel that I need to tell him......Anyone gone through this or can help please? Thank you

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CeesBees I think you have done all you can. By all means share with him that his current behavior is bringing him closer to the end of life. I suspect he already knows that and simply does not care.
At this point it is pretty unproductive to place him in a institution and have them dry him out. What happens after that? Why make his life totally miserable for whatever short time he has left. I would just let him be, he will shortly not even want the whisky and refuse everything.
As long as he is being cared for and supervised that really is all you can do.
Think of the alternatives. Take him fighting from his home. Lock him up somewhere where he will be climbing the walls. Take away his only comfort. Drug him up so he can't harm himself. He will soon curl up in a fetal position and expire. It will not be a good experience for him or his family. Hopefully his potassium level will get high enough that he suddenly passes. Hope I have not been too cruel. Have you considered Hospice?
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What tough stuff we have to go through with parents! It's hard when they won't listen. I agree with Angel. All you can do is be honest with him. It's his decision. Be strong and know that there is only so much you can do. Blessings.
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Angel, thank you so much. I will travel to see him Friday. I'm quite sure he'll say that he's got to go one way or the other. I know for sure that he won't want help, he will not go into hospital and terrified that we'll put him in a home. I feel that at least if I speak to him about it, I'll have got my point across although I know that he won't survive either way. He has a DNR should his body fail, but has pretty much made it clear that he does not want to stop drinking.

Thanks again, your answer does help.

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Trying to be delicate here...when an alcoholic gets to the point of drinking and not eating they will shortly end up in potassium deficiency. This causes heart arrhythmia and heart failure in a very short time period.

Without intervention, death is immanent. I would definitely share that with him if you are able to.

Should you intervene? I can't answer that part for you. Did he had any advanced directives like a DNR that say he doesn't want intervention? That is what I would use as my direction.

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