Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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It's not much you can do with this situation. Please check out Al-Anon in your area. There are phone and Zoom meetings available if time is the essence.
I had a client that had dementia and alcoholism. I just basically sat with him during the visit. He could tell some tall tales though.
For many, it's not so easy to just walk away and leave an alcoholic to die alone because you disagree with their addiction. That often creates severe guilt and ruminating about what could've been done differently but wasn't. There but for the grace of God go I.
Al-Anon is for YOU, my friend, not to become 'enmeshed ' with the addict but quite the opposite.....to learn how NOT to become enmeshed. To draw boundaries, to protect yourself, and to learn compassion w/o enabling. To become associated with or to identify with Al-Anon or AA is a blessing in life, nothing less. AA saved my life, I'm proud to say. No stigma is attached to the organization for me or millions of others. We all need help in life sometimes and it's perfectly fine to ask for it.
Wishing you the best of luck with this difficult situation you face.
Dr Laura just going on in very interesting call from a woman the other day, Lea, in which she said "You don't have to LEAVE. You can stay and support what you wish, and not support what you don't want to, meanwhile making your own life with support groups (Al-Anon), hobbies you can love, exercise and activities of your own. What's important is to understand that you aren't going to change the alcoholic or "help" or "prevent" or anything else. THAT they must do, and want to do on their own.
Many people are recommending Al Anon, and it is a fine organization that helps many people. The problem is that you then become identified with and caught up in the reality of a situation that you didn't create and can't fix. Yet you are expected to keeping working at Al Anon goals, going to meetings, etc. That's a course of action that for some people becomes a form of enmeshment when what might also work is simply walking away from the alcoholic and leaving them to their journey, which by this time you wish was never yours.
I can see it both ways. There's been addiction in my family, so I'm aware of enabling and the family culture that develops because of addiction and all the other things we're caught up in when we love an addict. I just wanted to point out that there are options other than Al Anon. It's OK to wash your hands of the whole mess and refuse to participate in others' drama. Only you can decide what is right for you.
Al-Anon frowns upon enmeshment big time. They frown upon your becoming involved in the alcoholic's alcoholism whether to enable or advise. In fact Al-Anon is very different to AA in that you are taught BASICALLY there are only two choices open to you, STAY or GO. Nothing else. Every single thing other than stay or go is not going to change the alcoholic. It teaches you that if you stay you will have to stop helping, excusing, enabling, purchasing, advising the alcoholic and will have to make your own life and with your own friends and hobbies and work. If you go, well that option is clear. I attended Al-Anon when an extended family member had an alcoholism crisis. I was utterly AMAZED at the caring support.
How you deal with this is by attending Al-Anon. There you will meet with families in your exact position. They will know resources for you and there will be great advice about what you can and what you cannot do to help the alcoholic.
You go to Al-Anon to help yourself, then you call APS to report this vulnerable person, and then you step as far away as possible from this situation/person and let the chips fall where they may.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I had a client that had dementia and alcoholism. I just basically sat with him during the visit. He could tell some tall tales though.
Al-Anon is for YOU, my friend, not to become 'enmeshed ' with the addict but quite the opposite.....to learn how NOT to become enmeshed. To draw boundaries, to protect yourself, and to learn compassion w/o enabling. To become associated with or to identify with Al-Anon or AA is a blessing in life, nothing less. AA saved my life, I'm proud to say. No stigma is attached to the organization for me or millions of others. We all need help in life sometimes and it's perfectly fine to ask for it.
Wishing you the best of luck with this difficult situation you face.
I can see it both ways. There's been addiction in my family, so I'm aware of enabling and the family culture that develops because of addiction and all the other things we're caught up in when we love an addict. I just wanted to point out that there are options other than Al Anon. It's OK to wash your hands of the whole mess and refuse to participate in others' drama. Only you can decide what is right for you.
I 100% agree to go to Al-Anon, report your LO to APS and step completely away so that the only real solution can be put into motion.
You are not responsible for your LO's happiness.
You cannot have their recovery for them.
Boundaries.